Girlfriend Not Planned

The transparent keyboard cover—humanity's greatest defense against feline code contributions. Some developers spend years debugging their applications, while others just need to prevent their cat from accidentally pushing to production. Notice how the cat still tries to assert dominance by standing on the keyboard anyway. Nature, uh, finds a way... to ruin your git commit history.

The modern developer's version control system: ChatGPT. Sure, we've evolved from USB sticks to Google Drive, but some of us have ascended to a higher plane of chaotic development—keeping our precious code snippets in chat history with an AI. Nothing says "senior developer with impeccable practices" quite like frantically scrolling through your conversation history at 2 PM during a production outage trying to find that one clever function you wrote last month. Git who? Never heard of her.

Behold the future of coding: a three-button keyboard that distills programming to its purest form—Copy, Paste, and a logo that's probably GitHub or StackOverflow. The hardware manufacturers finally figured out what we actually do all day! Why write original code when someone on the internet already solved your problem? The "expert" part is knowing exactly which code to steal and how to make it look like you understood it in your commit messages. Future job interviews: "How efficiently can you Google?"

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this kernel developer confessing his darkest sin! 💀 Using a GUI for Git is basically like admitting you put pineapple on pizza while working at an Italian restaurant. The command line purists are literally SHAKING right now. Meanwhile, she's having an existential crisis because deep down she knows that even she has installed GitKraken during moments of weakness. The shame! The horror! The convenience of drag-and-drop merge conflict resolution!

The career trajectory no one warns you about: You start as a passionate coder, slinging elegant solutions and building cool stuff. Fast forward five years, and suddenly your hands haven't touched a keyboard in months except to type "LGTM" on pull requests. Your technical skills are slowly fossilizing while you're stuck in meetings explaining to junior devs why their variable names should be more descriptive. The ultimate developer irony - get promoted for being good at coding, then never code again. It's like training your whole life to be a chef only to end up as the restaurant critic.

The "asking for a friend" of development. Nothing says "I've already done something catastrophic" like a junior dev casually inquiring about API key removal from git history. That look from the senior dev isn't suspicion—it's the realization that the weekend is now canceled and the entire team is about to learn what a force push really means. Somewhere in the background, the company's security team just felt a disturbance in the force.