Failing To Push My Own Repo

Nothing screams "I'm a modern developer" quite like spending 8 hours implementing a Spotify API integration to show your current jam, but completely forgetting to include links to your actual code. Because clearly what hiring managers really care about is that you listen to Imagine Dragons while coding, not your ability to, you know, build things that work . The dark mode toggle is just the cherry on top of this portfolio sundae of misplaced priorities. The irony is that Tom and Spike are rushing toward something important while Jerry (the actual talent) trails behind - just like how those GitHub links and demo URLs are trailing behind your CSS animations and fancy scroll effects.

You spend three weeks crafting your Python masterpiece, push it to GitHub, and within minutes some random dev comments "where's the executable?" These monkeys don't understand that Python IS interpreted. They're probably the same people who ask for the manager's phone number at a self-checkout. Next they'll want you to compile HTML too.

The DRAMATIC DIFFERENCE between hearing "you're absolutely right" the first time versus the 985th time during code reviews! 😭 That top panel is the PURE JOY of your first accepted pull request - you're practically FLOATING on cloud nine! But that bottom panel? That's the soul-crushing deadness in your eyes after submitting your 985th fix and your senior dev STILL manages to find something wrong. "You're absolutely right!" you say through gritted teeth while secretly plotting to "accidentally" delete the entire codebase. The emotional journey from eager puppy to dead-inside zombie is just *chef's kiss* relatable.

The fragile ego of developers is on full display here. We all pretend we want "constructive feedback" on our code, but the second someone suggests our beautifully crafted 300-line function might work better as five smaller ones, we're secretly dying inside. Nothing quite like spending three days on a feature only to have some senior dev casually mention "this could be a one-liner" in the PR comments. I've been on both sides of this equation for 15 years and still haven't figured out how to take criticism without mentally drafting my resignation letter.

Ah yes, the eternal fantasy of having a git reset --hard HEAD@{last-time-i-had-my-shit-together} command for real life. Made some terrible decisions lately? Pushed to production without testing? Got into a relationship with someone who thinks semicolons are optional? If only we could just revert to that golden period before everything went sideways. Unfortunately, life doesn't track changes, and there's no magical snapshot from when you still had a reasonable sleep schedule and manageable anxiety. The only rollback strategy we've got is therapy—and it doesn't accept pull requests.

Behold the sacred gender symbols of our time! Female? Simple. Male? Basic. But a PROGRAMMER ? Honey, that's a whole different species with arrows pointing in MULTIPLE directions simultaneously while juggling a USB stick! Because why commit to just ONE path when you can have 17 git branches, 42 browser tabs, and an existential crisis before lunch? The programmer gender doesn't just multitask—it multi-EXISTS in parallel universes where both solutions work and fail at the same time. Schrödinger's code, darling!