So Far Every Unreal Engine 5 Game Has Been Running Like

The ultimate graphics card betrayal! A 6-year-old GTX 1070 Ti absolutely demolishing the newer RTX 3050 in an arm wrestling match is the hardware equivalent of your grandpa outrunning you in a marathon. What makes this painfully accurate is that despite the RTX 3050 having ray tracing capabilities and being a newer generation, the ancient GTX 1070 Ti still outperforms it in raw power for many games and applications. Nvidia basically repackaged old tech, slapped "RTX" on it, and charged premium prices. Budget gamers who upgraded from older cards to the 3050 must feel like they've been scammed harder than people who buy "gaming" chairs that are just regular chairs with RGB lights.

Ah, NVIDIA's market strategy in a nutshell. Become absurdly wealthy selling GPUs that cost more than my car, then act shocked when developers complain about memory limitations. It's like a billionaire asking why you don't just buy a bigger house when you complain about storage space. "What's that? Your AI model doesn't fit in 8GB VRAM? Have you considered remortgaging your home for our $4000 model instead?" Meanwhile, developers everywhere are writing increasingly creative memory optimization hacks just to avoid selling a kidney for more VRAM. The tech equivalent of fitting an elephant into a Mini Cooper.

The apartment building networking topology we never asked for but definitely deserved. Three gamers locked in an epic battle, visible through their windows at night – one with a headset strategizing, another grinding away at their desk setup, and the third looking like he just rage-quit so hard he needed a bandage. This is what happens when you take "local area network" too literally. The ping must be amazing though – just open your window and shout "LAG!" instead of typing it. Next-level physical topology that even Cisco didn't think to document.

The evolution of graphics "cards" is the tech equivalent of your friend who said they'd "just have one beer" and ended up ordering the entire menu. Started with that cute little PCI card that could barely render Minesweeper, moved to something resembling an actual card, then suddenly we're installing mini-refrigerators that require their own power supply and structural support. Next GPU generation will come with its own mortgage and custody agreement. Remember when upgrading your PC didn't require reinforcing your desk first?

The eternal game engine debate, featuring Patrick Star dropping truth bombs! The meme perfectly captures how gamers blame Bethesda's Creation Engine for bugs, while simultaneously claiming Unreal Engine games run poorly. Then the punchline hits - Oblivion was remastered with Unreal and still performed badly. The real mic drop: it's not the engine, it's the developers! No amount of fancy engine-switching will fix fundamental development issues. Reminds me of that junior dev who kept blaming our framework for his spaghetti code. Changing your hammer doesn't fix your terrible aim!

Ubisoft trying to control your physical game copies is like trying to delete water with a fork. Sure, they can demand you destroy your discs when their servers shut down, but meanwhile, gamers have been quietly making backups since the dawn of time. It's the digital equivalent of telling someone to burn their book while they're standing in their personal library with 50 copies. Corporate DRM fantasies vs. reality: Round 1,254,789... and DRM still hasn't won a single match.