Keep It Simple Stupid

The infinite loop of despair that is modern tech support. First, you find a problem with a service. Then, like a responsible citizen of the digital realm, you attempt to report it. But wait! The universe has a cruel sense of humor—the very form you need to submit to report the bug... has a bug itself. So you're stuck in this beautiful recursive nightmare where you can't report the bug because of another bug that you can't report because of the bug you were trying to report in the first place. It's like needing scissors to open a package of scissors. Whoever designed this system probably also enjoys watching people try to exit vim for the first time.

The slow, horrifying realization that your days of crafting elegant code are being replaced by endless status updates and spreadsheet wrangling. One day you're debugging a complex algorithm, the next you're scheduling your fifth meeting about the meeting you had yesterday. The transformation into management isn't a promotion—it's a curse that feeds on your technical soul until all that remains is an empty husk that says things like "let's circle back" and "we need to sync up."

That moment when you finally ship the big release and immediately become prisoner to your own code. Your phone won't stop buzzing with production alerts while users discover all the edge cases your tests somehow missed. The team's in chaos, management wants updates, and there you are—staring at your creation with the hollow realization that success and suffering are the same thing in software development.

Just pushed 47 failing tests to production and went home for the weekend. Kings don't lose sleep over peasant concerns like test coverage. Monday's problem now. The QA team can join my "prayer circle" Slack channel if they need me.

BEHOLD! The magical power of git rebase master - where problems don't get solved, they get ERASED FROM EXISTENCE! 💀 One second you've got a person lying on the tracks about to be OBLITERATED by the trolley of doom, and the next? POOF! They've vanished faster than my will to live during a merge conflict! The trolley problem isn't a problem if you just rewrite history to make it look like there was never anyone on the tracks to begin with! Who needs ethics when you have force push privileges? NOT ME, DARLING! 💅

Who needs spiritual enlightenment when you've got a CI/CD pipeline that actually works? That moment when all your deployment checks turn green is basically the tech equivalent of nirvana. After days of fighting with Docker configs and environment variables, seeing those green checkmarks feels better than any meditation retreat. The real religion of developers isn't in any ancient text—it's watching that deployment succeed without a single red error message. Pure bliss. Pure meaning. Pure validation that maybe—just maybe—you're not completely terrible at your job after all.