Fixing Friday Release

The three horsemen of developer apocalypse, beautifully color-coded for your impending doom: Chaos: Visualizing your node_modules folder structure is like staring into the abyss. That dependency tree isn't a tree—it's an entire enchanted forest where packages go to multiply like rabbits. Destruction: The infamous rm -rf / command—the digital equivalent of "let's see what happens if I cut this red wire." One misplaced space and suddenly your machine thinks you want a factory reset... of your entire life. War: Force pushing to Git is basically declaring nuclear warfare on your colleagues. Nothing says "I'm the captain now" like obliterating everyone else's commits because merge conflicts are just too much effort.

This meme perfectly captures the existential dread of asking a senior developer about their non-existent documentation. You approach them like Oliver Twist begging for gruel, only to be met with the classic "my code is self-explanatory" defense. The senior dev genuinely believes their cryptic variable names and 200-line functions "make perfect sense" while you're left wondering if you're the problem. Spoiler alert: you're not. The documentation is in their head, and they've convinced themselves that telepathy is an industry standard skill.

The hard truth nobody wants to admit. You stare at that YAML file for 20 minutes, counting indentation levels, trying to figure out which closing bracket matches which opening one, and questioning your life choices. Meanwhile, JSON just sits there with its clear structure and curly braces, judging you silently. But we keep using YAML because... reasons? Probably the same reasons we still use regex.

The sacred moment when a junior dev somehow fixes a production bug without touching the legacy code that everyone's afraid to modify. Senior devs aren't even mad—they're impressed. That feeling when you solve a problem without creating seven new ones is the closest thing to divinity in software engineering. The "we happy?" question is basically corporate speak for "did you manage not to break our fragile house of cards?"

Nothing says "totally not stressed" like aging 40 years in 29. That beard isn't white from wisdom—it's from debugging legacy code at 3 AM while production is on fire. The sunglasses aren't a fashion statement; they're hiding the thousand-yard stare from staring at Stack Overflow for 72 consecutive hours. But sure, Nerijus, tell us again how IT isn't stressful while your eye twitches uncontrollably behind those lenses.

Turns out those daily stand-ups and sprint retrospectives weren't the silver bullet after all! This headline is the equivalent of telling developers that their religion is false. Watch as Agile evangelists frantically explain how "that's not real Agile" and "you're just doing it wrong" while ignoring the 268% higher failure rate staring them in the face. The irony is delicious - a methodology that promised to save us from waterfall disasters is apparently worse than the thing it was supposed to replace. Meanwhile, project managers everywhere are desperately updating their LinkedIn profiles to remove "Certified Scrum Master" before anyone notices.