The Uncalled Function Catastrophe

Content Your first podcast will be awful Your first video will be awful Your first article will be awful Your first art will be awful Your first photo will be awful Your first game will be awful But your first code will be perfect. Zero bugs and a very clean code. It will be "Hello World"

Game devs really out here milking TF2 and webfishing like they're the last two functional udders on the farm. Meanwhile, they're cheerfully skipping past the absolute Frankenstein's monster of spaghetti code and duct tape that's barely holding these games together. The cow looks like it's seen things—probably the codebase at 3 AM during a critical bug fix. But hey, as long as players keep showing up and the servers don't spontaneously combust, who needs refactoring? Technical debt is just a suggestion anyway. The "good morning sunshine" energy while ignoring the structural integrity of your entire project is peak game dev mentality. Ship it and pray.

Forget relationships. The true ecstasy in life is when your memory debugging tool confirms zero leaks in your code. That sweet, sweet message "All heap blocks were freed -- no leaks are possible" hits different than any romantic confession ever could. While normies get excited about dinner dates, programmers experience pure bliss from proper memory management. It's the programming equivalent of a clean drug test, except you're actually proud of the achievement.

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The eternal battle between product managers and coders in their natural habitat! When the PM desperately pleads "Stop doing refactors" (because features and deadlines, obviously), programmers respond with pure rebellion: "You know what? I'm going to do refactors even harder." It's the coding equivalent of cleaning your room by first throwing everything into a bigger pile. Sure, it looks worse temporarily, but we swear it'll be beautiful once we're done eliminating those 17 nested if-statements that make us cry at night. Technical debt doesn't pay itself!

Content DESIGNERS DALL-E 2 STOLE YOUR PICTURES AND USE THEM TO GENERATE ART. NO! THIS IS ILLEGAL! PROGRAMMERS CHATGPT SCANNED YOUR GITHUB ACCOUNT AND STOLE YOUR CODE IT'S NOT MY CODE.