The Uncalled Function Catastrophe

What happens when a DBA designs a clock? You get Roman numerals in completely random order because SQL queries without proper constraints do whatever they want. Notice how IX (9) is where 4 should be, and V (5) is at 6 o'clock. The comment "It Will Work This Time" is the eternal lie every developer tells themselves before running untested SQL in production. Spoiler: it never does.

Content Do you even know how many bugs I put in my code last week? I don't care if there is a fly in yoh fryer uva. krishna.memes HB

Ah, the classic tech job descent into madness. First day: bright-eyed optimism. Then reality hits—"documentation? Just read the code." And what beautiful code it is—zero comments, variables named "tmp", "str", and "obj", all crammed into 2000-line monoliths written by developers who apparently believed typing out full variable names would summon ancient demons. It's like trying to decipher hieroglyphics, except the ancient Egyptians probably had better documentation standards.

Content TB CLB INDENTATION ERROR DETECTED So I said put it on my- Get out THEJENKINSCOMIC

The perfect double meaning that unites programmers and healthcare workers! Someone brilliantly compared the zombie-like state of elderly patients being resuscitated only to continue their ceiling-staring existence with the state of modern software. When code flatlines and crashes, we developers perform our own version of CPR - frantically debugging, restarting services, and injecting emergency patches. And for what? So our zombie application can limp along for another deployment cycle before inevitably crashing again. The cherry on top? That deadpan declaration that "CPR is quite literally necromancy." Well, both programmers and doctors are just professional necromancers, desperately reviving things that probably should have been allowed to die with dignity.

The Java logo is just a cup of coffee until you've spent 16 hours debugging a NullPointerException. Then it becomes what it truly is—a bucket of lava that burns your entire codebase to the ground. Minecraft players nodding in agreement right now.