The Uncalled Function Catastrophe

THE AUDACITY OF MY OWN BRAIN! There I was, screaming bloody murder at the compiler for a FULL TWENTY MINUTES, questioning its entire ancestry and threatening to switch programming languages forever... only to realize I wrote the most GORGEOUS function in existence but NEVER ACTUALLY CALLED IT! 😱 Just defined it and left it there like some decorative piece of code art! The compiler wasn't broken - my last two brain cells were just on vacation without telling me! The betrayal is IMMEASURABLE!