The Silent Scream Of Debugging

The first block makes 1000 network calls to add numbers. The second just adds them locally. And yet some developers will still ask "why is my code so slow?" while their app makes HTTP requests to add 2+2. It's like driving to the grocery store to use their calculator when you have one on your phone. Sure, both methods get you the sum, but one involves putting on pants.

Content My brain after 8 hours of sleep My brain after 4 hours of sleep I just added 15 new classes, 28 integration tests, and have 80 code coverage ProdrammerHumor.io Help, the compiler is saying "Syntax Error"

Left side: "My code is self-documenting!!" with a sketch of someone looking distressed at the lowest end of the IQ bell curve. Middle: Actual documentation with detailed comments about monster attack algorithms in a game. Right side: Someone who just writes "// this is bridge" next to a drawing of a bridge, sitting at the other low end of the IQ curve. The perfect balance? The 130+ IQ person with comprehensive, helpful comments that actually explain the why behind complex game logic. The eternal developer struggle: write no comments and claim "self-documenting code," write useless comments stating the obvious, or be the rare specimen who documents the intent and reasoning. Most of us oscillate between all three depending on how much coffee we've had.

Content When you close more than 100 tabs after finding the solution of a bug ProarammerHumor in

Content ooo verizon 9:10 AM ooo Verizon 9:10 AM 1 1 ooo verizon What do you know about material design? Oct 19. 2016. 10:22 PM Enough to know that Blue 600 is 1885 hex codes are hot Damn bov let me GIT some of that So is lava wouldn't mind giving you a unit test Oh don't tease me like that hope you're agile, be this just became a standup meeting Onlv if I can call vou CSS cause I like vour style I hope we can merge without any conflicts Let's do a pull request so we can commit and make it official call me scrum master cause I'II find all vour use cases Do you approach your sprints in waterfalls because you're making me wet the time and cost don't matter as long as I can scope out that ass Oct 19. 2016. 11:12 PM Are vou enterprise architecture because I like vour structure and how you operate girl let me gather your requirements 9:10 AM 6 11 00 Oct 20, 2016, 7:52 AM fyi I'm sharing this convo with my coworkers Oh I'm 100 doing the same 20 87 AM hope you're ready to deploy this package Oct 20, 2016, 9:37 AM Wanna come over later because I got a few things I want to demo from mv local AM as long as you can debug my performance Cont Oct 20. 2016. 12:11 PM hopefully my user experience leaves vou satisfied GIF Tune a Message. GIF Tune a Messade GIF

Finally collected all the Infinity Stones of IT support. With these power buttons in my possession, I can now solve 90% of all tech problems by simply telling people to "turn it off and on again" while feeling smugly superior. The other 10% require the legendary artifact known as "actually reading the error message."