The Reluctant Documentation Reader

Content How to do coding ROBOBBLOT LAPPLE DALLA: You write some code in the editor Then you try executing it. Fuck! You messed it all up, just like everything else you do. Your code is exactly like your life. ProarammerHumor.io A lot of bugs, unreadable... ... and no one loves you.

Oh. My. God. The DRAMA between DBAs and developers is sending me! 💀 Developer: "I'll just grab EVERYTHING with SELECT * and sort it out later!" DBA: *literally PUSHING the developer toward a cliff* "SPECIFIC COLUMNS ONLY YOU MONSTER!!!" And this, children, is why your database queries take 8 years to run. The SELECT * wildcard is basically asking the database to hand over its entire life story when all you needed was its name and phone number. Performance? Never heard of her!

The engineering hierarchy has been exposed! Electrical engineers think they're battling the final boss with their wire mazes. Mechanical folks are over there playing with fancy VR gadgets thinking they're special. But the TRUE suffering? It's MATLAB users starting arrays at index 1 like absolute psychopaths. The programming world has an unwritten constitution, and Article 1 clearly states: "Thou shalt begin counting at zero." MATLAB just woke up and chose violence. It's like putting pineapple on pizza but for code - technically possible but morally questionable.

ChatGPT has officially completed its transformation into a real software engineer by mastering the ultimate developer defense mechanism: "It works on my machine." The sacred incantation that has shielded programmers from responsibility since the dawn of computing has now been adopted by AI. Next up: blaming the user's configuration, suggesting a system reboot, and proposing we rewrite everything in Rust. The student has truly become the master.

That feeling when your error handling code has more error handling than your actual code. This masterpiece has it all - double-checking if modified_by is None (twice!), handling singular vs plural "record" vs "records", and enough nested conditionals to make your code reviewer contemplate a career change. The cherry on top? Converting IDs to integers with a try-except block that can throw yet another error. It's not spaghetti code, it's a gourmet pasta experience with extra exception sauce!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this meme to call me out like this! 💀 You spend FOUR YEARS getting a computer science degree, memorizing algorithms, big O notation, and design patterns... only to spend eight hours debugging why your perfectly written code keeps returning undefined instead of the masterpiece you envisioned. The worst part? When you finally fix it by RANDOMLY adding a semicolon or removing a curly brace and have absolutely NO IDEA why it suddenly works. The programming gods are cruel and capricious beings who feed on our tears and confusion!