Success: Your Reward Is More Work

Backend engineers getting distracted by shiny machine learning tech while production bugs silently judge them from behind. Tale as old as git. We all swear we'll fix that NullPointerException right after we finish this "quick" TensorFlow tutorial that's only been open in a browser tab for 47 days.

Content Luc C. accolades dev Programming is not: fix my computer create a google account for me fix my router buy me an iPhone online hack my partner's FB account build a website for free make me an app that tells me how to build a website This is my own experience! Anything to add? 4:42 PM 22052020 Twitter for iPhone

Content DrawPool Hot New Tags to search for... APP ISSUE Due to Matt forgetting how to write code, a HUGE performance bug was introduced in the last app release - a fix is on its way and Matt will be whipped! Leaderboards Top 5 most liked users 1. Dragooniia 2. Cansukily 35 21

Ah, the sacred text of professional groveling. This is the comprehensive collection of phrases every developer keeps in a text file for when they realize they've been arguing about a bug for 45 minutes only to discover they forgot a semicolon. These aren't just apologies—they're survival tools. Copy-paste these into Slack after your senior dev points out you've been using the wrong API endpoint for three weeks and watch as your performance review magically improves from "concerning" to "shows potential." The best part? After 10 years in the industry, you'll develop the ability to sound genuinely contrite while simultaneously rolling your eyes so hard you can see your own brain.

Content When you compile your code and you get 499 errors instead of the usual 500 (-3,141 ThE ENGINEER

When a senior dev asks if you wrote code without comments, you know you're about to face a military tribunal-level interrogation. The look of utter disbelief followed by immediate sentencing is just *chef's kiss*. Submitting uncommented code to review is basically a declaration of war against your fellow developers. Future maintainers will be excavating your logic like archaeologists trying to decipher hieroglyphics without a Rosetta Stone. Remember folks, code tells the computer what to do, but comments tell other humans why you did it that way. Skip them at your peril!