Old Man = Null

When you ask a junior dev to implement OAuth and they take "social login" to a whole new dimension. Normal OAuth providers? Boring! Let's authenticate with a potato, your mom, and Beef Caldereta instead! Nothing says "secure authentication flow" like logging in with a PDF or your physical address. The cherry on top is "Login with Caution" - the only button that's actually giving sound security advice here.

When your debug statement has served its purpose, there's only one thing left to do: bid it farewell with a dramatic console.log. That "hereeeeeeeeeee" is the digital equivalent of a cowboy riding off into the sunset – it's done its job tracking down that elusive bug that was making your code behave like it was written after a three-day caffeine bender. And just like Woody, you know deep down you'll be adding another one two minutes later when the next bug appears. The circle of debugging life continues.

The virgin 6-line if-else statement vs the chad one-liner ternary operator. Nothing says "I'm a coding sophisticate" like condensing a perfectly readable conditional into a cryptic single line that makes future maintainers question their career choices. The sunglasses really sell it - "Look at me, I just saved 5 whole lines and only sacrificed the entire team's sanity." Next up: replacing all your variable names with single letters to achieve true programming enlightenment.

Behold! The MOST REALISTIC tech success story you'll ever see! 🙄 Just learn JavaScript, and BOOM—instant millionaire by 17! Swimming pools! Mansions! All from a $20 book and some if-else statements! Meanwhile, the rest of us are debugging the same error for 6 hours straight and celebrating when our CSS centers a div correctly. The audacity of these LinkedIn fairy tales is the true masterpiece of fiction—more creative than any code I've ever written! Next week: "How I became a trillionaire by copying Stack Overflow answers!"

Content Javascript developers when there is no new framework released since 5 minutes

Ah, the classic "security through visual confusion" approach! This developer is replacing commas with Unicode character U+201A (single low-9 quotation mark) which looks nearly identical but won't trigger Airtable's delimiter parsing. The best part is the function name safeComma - as if this hack deserves the word "safe" anywhere near it. It's like putting a fake mustache on your data and calling it "military-grade encryption." This is the programming equivalent of writing "Not a Drug Deal" on your suspicious briefcase. Sure, it technically works, but someday, somewhere, a developer will inherit this code and question all their life choices.