Run It Again: The Most Scientific Debugging Method

Content management congratulate me for the huge improvement in runtime me switching to release after accidentally running in debug this whole time

Content Top 20 Replies by Programmers when their programs don't work.. 20. That's weird. 19. It's never done that before. 18. It worked yesterday. 17. How is that possible? 16. It must be a hardware problem. 15. What did you type in wrong to get it to crash? 14. There has to be something funky in your data 13. I haven't touched that module in weeks! 12. You must have the wrong version. 11. It's just some unlucky coincidence. 10. I can't test everything! 9. THIS can't be the source of THAT. 8. It works, but it hasn't been tested. 7. Somebody must have changed my code. 6. Did you check for a virus on your system? 5. Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel? 4. You can't use that version on your system. 3. Why do you want to do it that way? 2. Where were you when the program blew up? 1. It works on my machine.

Content How did you fix that production Bug? SENIOR DEV Commented the code. INTERN

Oh, the classic programmer's trade-off! Started coding for the joy of creating something from nothing, ended up with a spine that's more twisted than my spaghetti code. That raccoon is every developer after a 12-hour debugging session, wondering if their ergonomic chair was actually designed by someone who hates humans. The vintage CRT monitor is just *chef's kiss* - nothing says "my posture is doomed" like hunching over ancient hardware trying to find that missing semicolon. The real bug was in our vertebrae all along!

Content 2022: Google releases Carbon to avoid C memory leaks 2024: THENEWSTACK Q C LINUX RUST SECURITY SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT Google Spends 1 Million to Make Rust, C 'Interoperable' Eager to eliminate memory errors in C- based Android apps, Google wants to make it easy for devs to write functionality in Rust instead. Feb 5th, 2024 9:00am by Joab Jackson

The four stages of debugging: contemplation, deeper contemplation, sudden epiphany, and immediate bathroom sprint. Because let's face it—the best debugging solutions always come when you're physically unable to implement them. It's like the universe's cruel joke that your brain waits until your butt hits the toilet seat to finally connect those neural pathways. Ten years into this profession and I'm convinced my best code is written in my head while staring at bathroom tiles. Should probably install a waterproof keyboard in there at this point.