Profanity

That moment when the professor announces "Now, we are going to start C++" and you can practically feel your remaining sanity evaporating. Those innocent students have no idea they're about to enter a world where memory management errors will haunt their dreams and segmentation faults become their new best friends. Ten weeks from now, half the class will be questioning their life choices while debugging pointer arithmetic at 3 AM. The other half? Already updating their LinkedIn to "proficient in HTML."

The eternal dance of modern development summed up in one perfect Quora response. Sure, copying code from StackOverflow costs $1, but knowing which code won't burn your production server to the ground? That's the $100,000/year expertise right there. The real engineering isn't in typing semicolons—it's having the battle scars to recognize which GitHub gist will solve your problem versus which one will have you debugging until 4am while questioning your career choices.

The dark art of gaming the metrics system. This IT support hero discovered the ultimate exploit - create problems to solve them. Why fix what's broken when you can break more things and "fix" those too? It's like discovering an infinite money glitch in the corporate game. The beautiful irony is that management created this monster with their poorly designed incentive structure. Next week's episode: "How I created a ransomware attack to become Employee of the Month."

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The pinnacle of error handling right here! This dev just casually commented out the error handling with // I missed the part where that's my problem in a webhook function. Sure, let the API call fail silently in production - what could possibly go wrong? Just yeet that error into the void and let future-you (or some poor on-call engineer at 2AM) deal with the consequences when customers start complaining. Classic "works on my machine" energy. The Spider-Man reference makes it even more perfect - with great code comes absolutely zero responsibility, apparently!