Profanity

The dystopian nightmare has arrived! Behold the new job title of our generation: "Prompt Engineer" – that poor soul desperately begging an AI to spit out valid JSON without hallucinating random garbage. Look at those tears! That's the face of someone who spent 6 years getting a Computer Science degree only to end up writing "bro please" and "I'm begging you" in their prompts. Their entire career now hinges on whether ChatGPT wakes up feeling cooperative or chaotic that day. We've gone from writing code to writing prayers to the AI gods! The ultimate career downgrade – from software developer to AI therapist/beggar.

Nothing quite hits like the unholy combination of insomnia, someone else's questionable code, and the unearned confidence that comes with running it through Valgrind at unholy hours. You're not even working on your own project—you're just out here at 3am being a full-time code critic for some stranger's GitHub repo, watching memory leaks light up like a Christmas tree. The pure GLEE on your face as Valgrind spits out error after error? *Chef's kiss*. Invalid reads, memory not freed, definitely lost bytes—it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except you're eating popcorn and taking notes. You didn't come here to contribute or open a helpful PR. You came here to JUDGE, and Valgrind is your weapon of choice. For the uninitiated: Valgrind is a debugging tool that hunts down memory leaks and other memory-related crimes in C/C++ programs. It's basically the snitch of the programming world, and boy does it love to tell on people.

Content Nacho lacovino 4 nachoiacovino Does GitHub uses GitHub to build GitHub? And most importantly, can GitHub rollback GitHub to fix GitHub when GitHub is down? 5:47 PM Aug 10, 2021 - Twitter for Android 563 Retweets 66 Quote Tweets 3.927 Likes

The classic "Friday me vs Monday me" time loop of despair! You confidently abandon your code on Friday thinking "I'll remember exactly what I was doing!" Then Monday hits and you're staring at your own creation like it's written in hieroglyphics. Your brain has completely wiped all memory of what that mysterious variable named 'x' was supposed to do, why there's a comment saying "DO NOT DELETE THIS - FIXES EVERYTHING," and why half your functions have names like 'temp_solution_final_v2_ACTUALLY_FINAL'. The weekend memory wipe is the true villain of software development.

Someone forgot to update their production URL! The job posting asks candidates to send resumes to careers@localhost — essentially asking people to email their resumes to their own computers. That's like telling someone to mail a letter to "My House" with no address. The developer probably copy-pasted from their test environment and never updated it before going live. Four years of experience required but apparently none needed for whoever set up this job posting!

Junior developer naively asks where the documentation is, only to be met with the team lead's menacing stare and declaration: "I AM DOCUMENTATION." The unspoken reality of tribal knowledge strikes again. The code base is a mystery wrapped in an enigma, passed down through oral tradition like ancient folklore. Documentation exists solely in the minds of those who've survived long enough to remember why that one function needs a random sleep(3) call.