The Slash That Broke The CORS

The ancient art of torture has evolved beautifully. Back in the day, they'd just rack you or pour molten lead down your throat. Now? They make you sit through a code review where someone reveals your entire Google search history of Stack Overflow questions. "How to center a div" at 3 AM. "Why doesn't my code work" followed immediately by "Why does my code work now". "Difference between let and var" for the 47th time. The executioner doesn't even need to say anything—just project those searches on the wall and watch you crumble. Honestly, public execution would be less humiliating than having your team see you googled "what is recursion" after claiming five years of experience on your resume.

Ah yes, the classic "let me massively over-engineer this simple problem" approach. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like creating an entire utils file just to house that one sad, lonely function that converts a string to uppercase. It's like buying a mansion for your pet rock. Sure, your code structure might look impressive in the pull request, but we all know you're just trying to make those 3 lines of code feel important.

When AI becomes your most honest code reviewer! GitHub Copilot just casually suggesting a function called getWorstFramework() that returns 'Angular'. The machine uprising isn't with killer robots—it's with sassy code assistants throwing shade at your framework choices. The real comedy here is that Copilot didn't hesitate for a millisecond before choosing violence. No diplomatic "it depends on your use case" nonsense—just straight-up framework assassination. And the 7,323 likes? That's just developers collectively saying "where's the lie though?"

Ah, the classic "my app is 845KB but somehow requires a black hole of dependencies." Guy calculates his app size: Vue components (719KB), CSS (34KB), and helper classes (92KB). Seems reasonable at 845KB total. Then he puts his backpack on the scale and BAM – 68GB! That's node_modules for you – where your tiny app becomes a quantum singularity of nested dependencies, 5000 versions of left-pad, and packages you didn't even know existed. It's like going grocery shopping for milk and coming home with the entire dairy farm, three tractors, and a confused cow.

OMG, this is the MOST DRAMATIC poem of programmer persecution complex I've ever seen! 😭 It's a parody of the famous "First they came..." Holocaust poem but about PUNCTUATION and CODING, which is just SO EXTRA I can't even! The meme tragically chronicles the downfall of civilization through typography—first the em dashes (—) disappear, then the artists, then writers, until finally... THE PROGRAMMERS! And by then there's no one left to create a Stack Overflow thread about it! The absolute TRAGEDY of it all! *faints dramatically onto keyboard*

Innocent newbie: "I'll just use array.sort() to sort these numbers!" JavaScript: *sorts lexicographically* "Did I stutter?" Nothing says "welcome to JavaScript" quite like discovering your numbers are being sorted as strings. That moment when you realize you need array.sort((a,b) => a-b) and question all your life choices that led you to web development. It's basically JavaScript's hazing ritual - "Oh, you thought programming would make sense? That's adorable."