Obfuscate Code

Content Days before OpenAI Developer coding - 2 hours Developer debugging - 6 hours Days after OpenAI ChatGPT generates Codes - 5 min Developer debugging - 24 hours

Oh. My. GOD. The eternal programmer's nightmare captured in stick figure form! 😭 Left panel: "Science may discover immortality, but it won't happen in the next eighty years." Translation: We're all going to die before getting the good stuff. TYPICAL. Right panel: "You'll never find a programming language that frees you from the burden of clarifying your ideas." With the desperate plea "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!" Honey, no programming language will EVER read your mind! The computer is just sitting there like "I literally cannot understand your vague gesturing and emotional sighs." The AUDACITY of having to explain yourself clearly! The HORROR of precise thinking! 💅

OH. MY. GOD. This is the most accurate representation of AI chatbots trying to make sense of legacy code I've ever witnessed! 💀 That poor soap dispenser desperately trying to pump life into that sad, sunken bar of soap is LITERALLY every AI tool we've thrown at our 20-year-old codebase. "Here, ChatGPT, please fix this spaghetti monster written by three developers who all quit in 2007!" The AI is just there pumping away with absolutely ZERO results while the ancient code just sits there... menacingly... refusing to evolve. I can't even with how painfully real this is!

The duality of programming languages in their natural habitat: Java developers live in two states: complete confusion and smug pretentiousness. "What the hell is this code" meets "It's a StrategyManagerFactory" with zero middle ground. The naming conventions alone require a PhD in verbosity. Meanwhile, C++ developers have achieved enlightenment through suffering. Both sides of the brain have united in the brotherhood of bewilderment. The left guy asks what the hell is happening, and the right guy—instead of pretending to understand—simply admits the universal truth of programming: absolutely nobody knows what's going on. The real joke? We're all getting paid to write code nobody understands. Pure genius.

Content 252 indentation, paragraph, see paragraph index, 30, 74-76, 150-154, 211-212 index, 74, 212 curly brace in argument, 75 idx file entry written by, 208 in command argument, 153 space around, 169 special character in argument, 75 too many on page, 143 indexentry, 75, 212 on idx file, 208 indexspace, 75 indicator, error, 29, 134 inf (inf), 44 subscript of, 190 infinite loop, 252 infinitely stretchable length, 100, 102, 215 information, moving, 65-77, 207-209 infty (00), 43 ink, rectangular blob of, 106 inproceedings bibliography entry type, 161 ProarammerHumor.io

The existential crisis every developer faces at 2 AM while debugging. We name something a "variable" and then immediately declare it as "const" or "final" or "readonly" - essentially telling it not to vary. The cognitive dissonance is real! It's like naming your pet rock "Runner" or your cactus "Cuddles." No wonder our code gets confused and throws exceptions - we've been gaslighting our variables this whole time!