It's So Easy To Mess Up

Content STANDUP AT 9:30 MEAT11:07 imoflo.com

Content On a 1-9 rubber duck scale, how are things going today? 2 3 bernajisbook 9

The ultimate flex in programming isn't driving a Mercedes—it's using 32 bits when 1 would do just fine. Sure, booleans only need a single bit to represent true/false, but why be efficient when you can waste 31 extra bits using an integer instead? Memory optimization? In this economy? Please. We've got terabytes of RAM now. The same developers who argue over 5KB in a JavaScript library will happily burn 32x the memory for every boolean value because changing the data type now requires actual work. It's the digital equivalent of using a sledgehammer to hang a picture frame—technically works, but your walls (and your code) will never forgive you.

Content verificationSpinner.end (true); await helpers. delay (2000); "Oh, why are you slowing down the program just so people have to stare at your checkmark?" Fuck you, I worked hard on getting that fucking checkmark to not be a piece of shit, and actually cancel properly when an error occured. I put blood, sweat, and tears into getting the Spinner class working, so I am going to leave it on the screen for people to see. I don't give a fuck if you think it's stupid, I will show my fucking checkmark for 2 seconds, you will stare at the fucking checkmark for 2 seconds, and you will be fucking happy that you stared at the fucking checkmark for 2 seconds. Literally, criticize any other part of my program, and I will be open to understanding and disucssion. You can call it trash, junk, say it's inefficient garbage, say I'm a piece I of shit who can go die in a hole, and I'd be fine with that. But I swear, as soon as you come for my decison to show a checkmark for 2 seconds, I am throwing fucking hands.

The sweet, sweet karma of version control! Top panel shows a dev having an absolute meltdown over undocumented code—you know, that cryptic mess that might as well be ancient hieroglyphics. Meanwhile, bottom panel reveals the mastermind behind the chaos, smugly enjoying the show after running git blame and discovering the culprit is none other than the person complaining. Classic case of "congratulations, you played yourself." Nothing quite like watching someone rage about their own technical debt!

Content Qualifications Bachelor's Degree or Master's Degree in Computer Science from one of the top 30 universities, like UC San Diego, UC Los Angeles, UC Berkeley, Stanford, MIT, etc Must be proficient with Node.js, React.js, Algorithms Familiar with CSS, HTML, PHP, JS Working knowledge of Amazon AWS, Docker, or similar cloud solutions