It's So Easy To Mess Up

Rockstar really said "let's reduce an entire AAA game to pseudocode that looks like it was written by someone who just discovered what an if-statement is." The absolute AUDACITY of claiming "Graphics=good" and "FPS=>150" when we all know GTA's optimization is held together by prayers and mod developers. But the real kicker? "Enemies=evil" followed by the galaxy brain logic of "if player=dead: die, else: dont die." Truly revolutionary game design right there. Shakespeare could NEVER. And let's not skip over "bugs=dead" – because nothing says "patch 0.1 released" quite like pretending you've squashed all the bugs when the game still teleports your car into the stratosphere. The cherry on top is "IGN_rating=10" at the bottom, because of course it is. They could release a game that's literally just "print('GTA')" and IGN would still give it a 10/10 masterpiece rating.

That smug little face says it all. The cat (labeled "Cursor AI") sits there with that self-satisfied grin while staring at the waffle ("The code that broke production") like it's about to devour the evidence. Nothing quite matches the special feeling of watching your teammate's cursor float around the screen in real-time as they confidently add that one magical line of code that brings down the entire system. "Trust me, this will fix it!" they say, right before Slack explodes with alerts and your phone starts having a seizure with PagerDuty notifications. But of course, this "didn't happen at your company." Just like how nobody ever pushed to main on Friday at 4:55 PM.

Content thedrow commented on 31 Dec 2015 Were you able to resolve the issue? 3 rmcgibbo commented on 31 Dec 2015 No. I decided I don't care. 292 10 375 : 94

Oh look, we've come full circle! After spending billions on AI to replace programmers, someone's revolutionary idea is to... *checks notes*... ask humans for help? 🤯 The "vibe coder" discovers the ancient technology known as "asking the senior dev" - a technique that's only been working flawlessly since the dawn of programming. Next breakthrough: discovering that keyboards work better when plugged in. It's the tech equivalent of inventing the wheel, getting a flat tire, and then wondering if legs might be useful backup systems.

The brutal truth of how different developers handle bugs in their natural habitat: JavaScript devs: Just set everything on fire, copy-paste Stack Overflow, and limp onward with bandaged arms. Backend devs: Channel their inner Batman to hunt down the responsible developer. No mercy. Web devs: Accidentally release bugs, make them worse by trying to fix them, then finally remember they have sudo powers. Tech support: "It's not a bug, it's a feature." The ancient incantation that turns problems into product specifications. QA: Can't find bugs? Break everything and walk away. Job description: professional chaos agent. C++ devs: When all else fails, nuclear option. rm -rf and pray to the compiler gods.

Crypto bros: "LLM token pricing is the future of finance!" Developers: *puts on glasses to see clearly* "Oh, you mean paying $0.0001 per API call until my wallet mysteriously empties after a for-loop gone wrong?" Nothing says "fun game for developers" quite like watching your credit card get charged in real-time while debugging a recursive function. It's just Candy Crush but instead of running out of lives, you're running out of rent money.