It Works On My Machine

The five stages of debugging, condensed into a single t-shirt. First you hate programming because your code is broken. Then you hate Programming (with a capital P) because clearly the entire discipline is flawed. Then suddenly— IT WORKS! —and you have no idea why, but who cares? Finally, you're back to loving programming... until the next bug appears and the cycle repeats. The perfect uniform for anyone who's ever fixed a bug by removing a semicolon they swear wasn't causing problems five minutes ago.

Content STOP DOING TYPES VARIABLES WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MEANING. YEARS OF CODING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for assigning more than a CHAR. Wanted to assign meaning anyway for a laugh? We had a method for that: It was called "GUESSING" "Yes please give me NULL of something. Please give me ANY of it." LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the compilers debuggers we built for them. (This is SUPERIOR TYPESCRIPT, done by MASTERFUL Developers): type ConditionalTypeT T extends string type PizzaTopping "4" PromiseArrayRecordstring, unknown ? T extends "infer Firstinfer Rest? UppercaseFirst Rest ???? ??????? ???????????? "Hello, I would like never apples please" They have played us for absolute clowns.

Content when you have 317 errors in your code and you think compiling it for the 4th time will fix it it seems my calgulations were incorrect

The evolution of infinite loops from "acceptable" to "summoning Satan himself": First panel: while (true) {} - The classic approach. Clean, honest, straightforward. "Yes, I'm creating an infinite loop on purpose. What about it?" Second panel: while (["*"].Contains["*"]) {} - Getting spicy! The unnecessary complexity is like wearing a tuxedo to take out the trash. It still does the same thing, but with style . Third panel: while (Random.Int(Integer.MaxInt) is Number) {} - Now we're just being passive-aggressive. "It's not technically infinite... but it is." The programming equivalent of "I'm not touching you!" Final panel: while (DateTime.Now - Breaking the fabric of space-time. This isn't just bad code, it's a cry for help. The compiler isn't even mad anymore, just disappointed.

Content These are some of the error messages produced by Apple's MW C compiler. These are all real. (If you must know I was bored one afternoon and decompiled the String resources for the compiler.) The compiler is 324k in size so these are just an excerpt I hope. I'm not sure where I stand on the copyright issue. Tony Cunningham "String literal too long (I let you have 512 characters, that's 3 more than ANSI said I should)" "..And the lord said, 'lo, there shall only be case or default labels inside a switch statement'" "a typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your program" '''Volatile' and 'Register' are not miscible" "You can't modify a constant, float upstream, win an argument with the IRS, or satisfy this compiler" "This struct already has a perfectly good definition" "type in (cast) must be scalar; ANSI 3.3.4; page 39, lines 10-11 (I know you don't care, I'm just trying to annoy you)" "Can't cast a void type to type void (because the ANSI spec. says so, that's why)" "Huh ?" "can't go mucking with a 'void ! "we already did this function" "This label is the target of a got from outside of the block containing this label AND this block has an automatic variable with an initializer AND your window wasn't wide enough to read this whole error message" "Call me paranoid but finding '' inside this comment makes me suspicious" "Too many errors on one line (make fewer)" "Symbol table full - fatal heap error; please go buy a RAM upgrade from your local Apple dealer"

The kid just admitted to studying C++ and immediately received trauma counseling. Memory management nightmares, pointer arithmetic, and undefined behavior will do that to you. The adult's comforting gesture isn't kindness—it's recognition of shared PTSD from battling segmentation faults at 3 AM. Thoughts and prayers for another soul lost to manual garbage collection.