Massively Incompetent Coders Running Overpriced Software On Flaky Technology

Content When the unsigned char battery level is running out below zero on Windows 10, 255 available (plugged in) 5:25 PM 252024

The Internet Explorer mascot is making a triumphant return on July 4, 2025, proudly declaring you can't spell "Independence" without "IE"! But in the second panel, reality hits hard as the browser gets bombarded with all the reasons it was phased out—inefficient, embarrassing, inferior, weird, ancient, retired, asinine, and simpleton. Poor IE finally gets the message and slinks away, muttering curses. It's the digital equivalent of that uncle who keeps showing up at family gatherings despite nobody inviting him anymore.

Content TOP DEFINITION C f S A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont. spp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8VC include vector(392): could be 'std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc::operator (const std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc)' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd::allocatorMain::Cont while trying to match the argument list "(std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd::allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line.'

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal Windows Step I. Reboot Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. v Did that fix it, No? Proceed to step a Did that fix it; No? Proceed to step a Step a. Format hard drive Reinstall Windows Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Step a. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step I. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giont beard. Blame Sun Microsusters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hugene. Write a regular expression that would make other precrammers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again Cut thic time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix its Nor Proceed to step an Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietlu weep.

Microsoft really said "we know what's best for you" and turned our beloved "My Computer" into the soulless corporate speak "This PC." Back in 2009, your computer felt like yours —a personal machine you had control over. Fast forward to 2026, and it's just another device in the cloud ecosystem that phones home more often than E.T. The rename wasn't just cosmetic—it symbolized the shift from owning your machine to merely using a terminal that Microsoft graciously lets you access. Your files? OneDrive. Your settings? Synced to the cloud. Your privacy? What privacy? The "This PC" era came with telemetry, forced updates, and the constant reminder that you're not the admin anymore, you're just a guest with elevated privileges. Yeah, we see what you did there, Microsoft. We see it, and we're still salty about it.

When Windows Defender SmartScreen blocks a Microsoft executable signed by Microsoft Corporation from Redmond, Washington... you know the irony has reached critical mass. It's like your immune system attacking your own cells—except instead of an autoimmune disorder, it's just Microsoft's quality assurance doing its thing. The "vs_SSMS.exe" (Visual Studio SQL Server Management Studio installer) getting flagged as "unrecognized" by Microsoft's own security software is the kind of self-own that makes you question everything. Like, did the Defender team and the SSMS team ever talk to each other? Did they at least exchange Slack messages? Fun fact: SmartScreen uses reputation-based detection, so even legitimate Microsoft apps can get blocked if they're too new or haven't been downloaded enough times. So basically, Microsoft is saying "we don't trust our own software until enough people have been brave enough to run it first." That's one way to do beta testing.