Massively Incompetent Coders Running Overpriced Software On Flaky Technology

Content Microsoft to Copyright Pi, Found to Contain Entire Arial Font In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the tech and math communities, Microsoft has announced plans to copyright the constant pi (r). The company claims to have discovered that pi, when properly decoded, contains the entire Arial fontface. Dr. Calibri explained: "We were analyzing pi's decimal expansion when we noticed a pattern starting at the 3,141,592nd decimal place. By treating certain sequences as SVG path instructions, we found that the resulting Bezier curves perfectly matched the outlines of Arial characters in alphabetical order." Microsoft's legal team wasted no time in filing a copyright claim on pi, arguing that since it contains their proprietary font, they now own the rights to the number itself. This move has sparked outrage among mathematicians and free software advocates alike. Meanwhile, Google is rumored to be searching for Roboto hidden within the digits of e.

Ancient Egyptians somehow managed to build architectural marvels without the corporate tech stack we can't seem to function without. No endless Teams meetings where everyone says "can you hear me?" No 57-slide pitch decks explaining the "stone moving paradigm." No AI that promises to optimize workflow but actually just creates more meetings about the AI. Just people dragging massive stones with pure human effort and mathematical precision. The real pyramid scheme was getting stuff done without a Slack channel dedicated to discussing the office snack selection.

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Content Why do Astronauts use Linux? Because they can't open Windows in space

First panel: OneDrive appears. Second panel: OneDrive disappears, giving you that brief moment of hope. Third panel: OneDrive returns like that coworker who says they're leaving but never actually quits. Microsoft's cloud storage is like a clingy ex who keeps showing up at your door despite being told "I just want to save this file locally, please."

Content Windows De This operation returned because the timeout period expired Code: Tysoonusana Microsoft Security Client An error has occurred in the program during initial Windows Script Host EdiscripestebockEventLogsl.vbs 0200041021 Oops. Something went wrong error code: o Path nor round Your PC ran into a problem that it couldn't handle, and now it needs to restart. Google Drive Sorry, Google Drive needs to quit. and Google Drive needs to quit. Error: None real Trone Quit OOPS!!! Files lost. Mouse Error X Your mouse has stopped working. Click OK to Continue. You're Dumb X Windows has detected that you are a technology retard. Please step away from the keyboard and call someone who's not as mindnumbingly stupid as you. Google OOPSIE WOOPSIE! fucko boingo! The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEY HAD