I Guess He Was A Mobile Developer

The duality of programmer confidence is brutal. Solo coding? You're basically the Hulk of software engineering—unstoppable, crushing bugs with your bare hands, refactoring entire codebases before breakfast. But the moment someone peers over your shoulder? Suddenly you're typing with your elbows, forgetting how to declare variables, and googling "how to exit vim" for the 500th time. The cognitive processing power required to both code AND maintain the illusion that you know what you're doing is mathematically impossible. It's like Schrödinger's developer—simultaneously brilliant and clueless until observed.

When you accidentally create a literal tilde (~) directory and then panic-delete your entire home folder... classic career-shortening move! The tilde in Unix/Linux is shorthand for your home directory, but this poor soul created an actual folder named "~" and then ran rm -rf ~/ thinking they were being precise. Spoiler alert: they weren't deleting the tilde folder—they were nuking their entire home directory from orbit. That moment of realization between "Stopped thinking" and updating your resume is approximately 0.3 seconds.

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That moment of existential dread when your meticulously "optimized" code actually runs slower than the original spaghetti mess. You spent three days refactoring, adding clever algorithms, and even throwing in some fancy design patterns—only to watch your benchmark times get worse. The computer is clearly gaslighting you. Next step: blame the compiler, blame the hardware, blame cosmic rays... anything but admit your optimization skills might need optimization.

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