Sure It Is: The Time Dilation Of NPM Install

That moment when your dream job turns into a nightmare in just one word. The recruiter had us in the first half with "high paying, remote job" and "latest version of Java" - sounding like developer heaven. Then BAM! Plot twist: "...script." The facial journey from pure joy to absolute horror is basically every developer who's been catfished by a job description. Nothing kills enthusiasm faster than discovering your elegant Java code dreams are actually JavaScript reality. It's like ordering a Ferrari online and getting a cardboard cutout with "vroom vroom" written on it.

Content Top 8 Fastest Programming Languages - A 2023 List C Language. C Python. Java. Rust. Julia. Node.JS. GoLang (Go)

Content Am Devloper iamdevloper On the 7th day, the Lord rested. On the 8th day, the Lord awoke to several issues posted from the JavaScript community. 12:21 pm 14 Aug 17

The programming language you choose apparently dictates your entire personality. Low-level language devs (Assembly, C++, Java) become muscular specimens who probably bench press servers in their spare time. Rust programmers evolve into anime protagonists with questionable hairstyles. JavaScript folks transform into tactical operators ready to deploy hotfixes like special forces. And Python users? They become that one guy at the office who's just a bit too smug about solving everything in one line of code. The circle of programming life complete.

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content Mayank Joshi dermayank Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS -nix system administration -Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer That's an entire IT department 3:52 PM 29 Jun 21 Twitter for Mac 1,403 Retweets 117 Quote Tweets 5,532 Likes 17 ProdrammerHumor.io