Found The Bug

Content Write a Program 26 Memory 534.2 MB 12.5 MB 0.1 MB Fix the memory leak Run it U b 26 Memory 534.2 MB 12.5 MB 0.1 MB U p 26 Memory 1,476.8 MB 12.5 MB 0.1 MB

Content robin dreamsofsloth the first thing our new hire did was fix a bug that's been bugging him forever as a user prior to joining. he then breathed a sigh of relief and submitted his two weeks' notice. wtf?? Scrum master: WTF, THIS WASN'T IN THE SPRINT Developer: That's how I roll

The duality of programmer existence in stick figure form! On the left, a red error has our stick friend in full existential meltdown mode: "Holy shit we're all gonna die!!!!" Meanwhile, on the right, a yellow warning could literally be announcing the heat death of the universe, and our programmer is just... snoozing through it. Warnings are basically just spicy comments at this point. Your code has 47 warnings? Whatever, ship it. But ONE error? Time to question your career choices, update your resume, and possibly fake your own death.

Content Ash ashcammm Programmersliterally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting 2017-10-22, 1:56 AM 5575 5575 HEAP SUMMARY: 5575 in use at exit: 0 bytes in 0 blocks 5575 total heap usage: 2,040 allocs, 2,040 frees, 37,558 bytes allocated 55755 5575 All heap blocks were freed - - no leaks are possible 5575 5575 For lists of detected and suppressed errors, rerun with: -s 5575 ERROR SUMMARY: 0 errors from 0 contexts (suppressed: 0 from 0)

The quantum uncertainty principle of code quality! When no one's watching, your code is a beautiful disaster of pointer arithmetic, bit shifting, and variables named "threehalfs" (probably implementing some obscure optimization hack). But the MILLISECOND someone glances at your screen, your code transforms into the most redundant, self-explanatory conditional statement in existence—literally checking if something is true to return true. It's like your code has performance anxiety and suddenly pretends to be following best practices. The compiler doesn't judge you, but that coworker walking by sure does!

Content CON Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean can fix your printer. This means... No, well, I can fix it But not because I'm a programmer!