Based On Real Events

GASP! The sacred campfire tale that sends shivers down the spines of Gen Alpha developers! 😱 A mythical creature who can actually code WITHOUT asking ChatGPT for help?! The horror! The absolute SCANDAL! The juniors sit there, mouths agape, clutching their mechanical keyboards in terror as the senior dev spins this utterly PREPOSTEROUS yarn about ancient coders who used—I can barely type this—DOCUMENTATION and their OWN BRAINS to solve problems! Next thing you know, they'll be claiming these legendary beings didn't need Stack Overflow either! Pure fantasy! Everyone knows real programming is just asking AI to fix your semicolons! 💅

The suspicious stare that says "I don't trust code that works on the first try." Ten years in the trenches teaches you that immediate success is the most terrifying outcome possible. No errors? No warnings? Something is definitely wrong. The universe doesn't just hand out compiler blessings like that without planning some catastrophic runtime surprise later. The real debugging starts after your code works perfectly. That's when you frantically add console logs everywhere because silent success is far more concerning than a stack trace that at least has the decency to tell you what you broke.

Content ROOT CAUSE WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DEBUGGING GOTCHA! REAL PROBLEM SHIT MONKEYUSER.COM

Spent 3 weeks crafting pristine code with perfect test coverage and documentation that would make Clean Code's author weep tears of joy... only for the junior dev to refactor it into an eldritch horror during their first week. The calm smile while everything burns? That's the acceptance phase of grief after seeing your git blame light up with someone else's name. The real tragedy? No code review process could have prevented this massacre.

Content compiler: Error me: changes nothing, runs again. compiler

Content JUNIOR DEV SENIOR DEV PUT IT IN BACKLOG SO WE CAN FIX IT LATER, RIGHT? SO WE CAN FIX IT LATER, RIGHT?