The Four Horsemen Of SQL Development

Content Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist: - 15 years Python - 30 years SQL - 20 vears AWS -15 years Spark -15 years Terraform - Core contributor to assembly code base - Team plaver - Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja, Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 is preferred. - Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL and all future flavors of SOL - Proiect Management experience - Strong experience with Keras, TensorFlow, Sklearn, XGBoost and preferably has written their own ML library from scratch. - Should have published at least 2 top level academic papers preferably focused around a Convolutional Recurrent Back-propagating Neural Network - Open source contributor at least 5 projects. - Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more - Managed CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users -Should have at least 1 PhD, 5 is preferred. Yes, we have ping pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the breakroom. Organic Kombucha on tap. The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from the 20 most popular programming languages.

BEHOLD! The most VISCERAL representation of programming concepts known to mankind! Left side: toilet paper roll with actual paper (0) - it EXISTS but is practically USELESS with that pathetic amount left. Right side: an EMPTY roll holder (null) - absolutely NOTHING there, honey! The database weeps, the variables scream, and somewhere a junior developer is having an existential crisis trying to figure out if they should check for zero or null first. The tragedy! The drama! And you KNOW both situations leave you equally stranded when nature calls. Just like when your function returns either 0 or null and your code wasn't prepared for EITHER scenario!

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Content Your first podcast will be awful Your first video will be awful Your first article will be awful Your first art will be awful Your first photo will be awful Your first game will be awful But your first code will be perfect. Zero bugs and a very clean code. It will be "Hello World"

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Content WHY DO WE USE THE WORD MEMOIZE WHEN WE ALREADY HAVE CACHE? COMPUTER SCIENTISTS NEED THEIR OWN SPECIAL WORDS JUST LiKE MATHEMETICIANS IT'S CONFUSING AND UNNECESSARY GOBEA MATHEMATICIAN THEN COMPUTER SCIENCE WAS ALWAYS JUST APPLIED MATHEMATICS l