The Four Horsemen Of SQL Development

Content A guy enters a shop. The clerk ask him, "good morning Sir. How can I help you? What is your wish?" The guy replies with a strange pronuncation: "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow", and moves his hands as to describe some box. The clerk did not understand and asks: "Excuse me sir?" The guy repeats his words and hand movements: "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow" The clerk has no clue what to do and gets his boss. The boss shows up, greets the customer, and the customer goes again, "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow". Boss and clerk are helpless, they bring in the trainee. The trainee also gets the show of the customer, runs into the store, hands something to the customer. The customer pays some amount, picks his goods and disappears with it. "And what did you bring him?" boss and clerk ask the trainee. Trainee replies with the same hand movement of the customer: "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow" Bottom line: This is a practical "object oriented approach": Object-Oriented Programming and Java 2 Springer Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow. made with mematio

The punchline here is a perfect double entendre. Tinder, a dating app all about making "relationships," stores its data in a "relational" database. It's a database joke that hits on two levels - technical accuracy and dating wordplay. Somewhere, a database administrator is quietly chuckling while running SELECT queries in the dark.

Content Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist: - 15 years Python - 30 years SQL - 20 years AWS - 15 years Spark - 15 years Terraform - Core contributor to assembly code base - Team player - Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja, Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 is preferred. - Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL and all future flavors of SQL - Project Management experience - Strong experience with Keras, TensorFlow, Sklearn, XGBoost and preferably has written their own ML library from scratch. - Should have published at least 2 top level academic papers preferably focused around a Convolutional Recurrent Back-propagating Neural Network - Open source contributor at least 5 projects. - Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more - Managed CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users - Should have at least 1 PhD, 5 is preferred. Yes, we have ping pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the breakroom. Organic Kombucha on tap. The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from the 20 most popular programming languages.

Content Vishal VishalMalvi When developers get together, we either obsess over new technologies, fancy desk setups, mechanical keyboards, and clean code, or we just roast each other's code.

The pristine folder structure in the left panel is the stuff of developer fantasies! A beautifully organized project with logical entity relationships and clear naming conventions. Meanwhile, the actual JSON file on the right is a truncated mess with fields like "password" and "birthdate" just hanging out in plain text. Nothing says "technical debt" quite like storing sensitive user data without proper encryption or hashing. The real answer to "What's stopping your codebase from looking like this?" is probably three deadlines ago, five energy drinks, and that one PM who keeps saying "we'll refactor later."

Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect search engine—a journey more convoluted than trying to explain to your mom why her computer is slow. This flowchart perfectly captures the existential crisis of modern developers. On one path, you've got the vector search hipsters who think they're too cool for regular search (spoiler: they are). Then there's the keyword search folks desperately seeking fault-tolerance like it's the last slice of pizza at a dev meetup. My personal favorite is the "petabytes of logs" branch. Do you really need so many logs? Well... YES . Because nothing says "I'm a serious engineer" like hoarding data you'll never actually look at. And then there's the person who just wants Google without the AI hallucinations. Sorry buddy, wrong flowchart—but I feel your pain. We all miss the days when search results weren't trying to predict your existential crises. The real genius here is how accurately it portrays our decision-making process: a chaotic mess of technical requirements, personal preferences, and completely arbitrary choices that somehow ends with us picking whatever was mentioned in that conference talk we half-listened to last month.