The Caps Lock Confession

Content (g) programmerhumour S'abonner We need to design the cover for our programming book The name of the language Add a random animal They are always like this. nonbinaryjew S'abonner ELOQUENT lAVASCRIPT Python Think Java EFFECTIVE C a patho Intro to Python firm Vis modern implomontation in C The Swift Programming Lanquage Swift 5 Edition ABSOLUTE C4 OKLILLY PHP Programming MySQL PHP the missina manua perl corpse-decay S'abonner why couldn't they even get a picture of a python for the python book i fucking hate this and i hate programming fuck all you nerds 00 11309 notes

Content programing professors Um. whatcha got there? global variables me A smoothie

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Ah, functional programming's miracle drug! FUNCTIONEX (with its fancy lambda symbol) promises to cure your codebase of those nasty impurities. Just 45mg of pure functions and your spaghetti code will transform into a mathematical paradise! But watch out for those side effects! While your category theorist prescribed this to keep your functions pure, you might experience unexpected symptoms like actually having to write to files or databases. The horror! Functional purists are currently filing a class action lawsuit because nobody warned them they'd still need to interact with the real world occasionally.

RIGHT JOIN is the awkward middle child of SQL joins that nobody invited to the party. Sure, it does the exact same thing as LEFT JOIN—just swap the table order and boom, you're done. But nooo, some masochist decided to write it backwards and make everyone's brain hurt. Why would you ever use RIGHT JOIN when you can just flip the tables in the FROM clause and use LEFT JOIN like a civilized human being? It's like insisting on walking backwards to your destination. Technically possible, functionally identical, but deeply unsettling to witness. Database developers have collectively agreed that RIGHT JOIN exists purely to confuse junior devs during code reviews. If you see one in production code, either someone's playing 4D chess or they just hate their teammates.

Oh. My. GOD. The ultimate programmer meet-cute disaster! 😱 Guy thinks she's talking about SQL (pronounced "sequel") - you know, the database language that makes developers weep at 2PM on a Tuesday. Meanwhile, she's showing him her ACTUAL database schema with primary keys and foreign keys like some kind of database goddess! It's the nerdiest miscommunication since someone thought "Python" was just a snake and not the reason half of us have jobs. The Star Wars posters are just *chef's kiss* - another trilogy that should've stopped after the first release... JUST LIKE MOST SOFTWARE PROJECTS.