New Modeling Req Dropped

Oh boy, this shirt is basically an SQL query for dating preferences, written by someone who clearly needs to update their human interaction drivers. The query starts off innocently enough with SELECT * FROM "GIRLS" WHERE age BETWEEN 18 and 20 (standard database filtering), but then spirals into a creepy checklist with boyfriend = false , is_cute = true , etc. The real bug in this code isn't the syntax—it's the programmer's social algorithm. Guaranteed to return ERROR: No matches found (and several restraining orders). The perfect shirt for announcing "I treat women like database entries" to the entire coffee shop!

Content AMMERSMITH Henrik Yesterday at 7:02 PM how did you fix the going backwards and please don't tell me it involves negation Yesterdav at 7:02 PM It involves negation Yesterday at 7:04 PM I just decided the back of the robot is the front now ? 1 ProdrammerHumor.io

Little Tim tried to pull a classic SQL injection attack on Santa's naughty/nice database. The kid renamed himself to "Tim'); INSERT INTO [NiceList] SELECT * FROM [NaughtyList];--" hoping to move everyone from the naughty list to the nice list. But Santa's not some rookie DevOps elf. He proudly runs his global gift operation on "several dozen interconnected Excel spreadsheets, like a professional." The ultimate enterprise solution that's immune to SQL injection because it's too chaotic to be hacked. This is why North Pole IT has 364 days of downtime every year. They're still recovering from last Christmas.

That feeling when your error handling code has more error handling than your actual code. This masterpiece has it all - double-checking if modified_by is None (twice!), handling singular vs plural "record" vs "records", and enough nested conditionals to make your code reviewer contemplate a career change. The cherry on top? Converting IDs to integers with a try-except block that can throw yet another error. It's not spaghetti code, it's a gourmet pasta experience with extra exception sauce!

The most terrifying message you can receive from a coworker at 9:40 AM: "I'm about to destroy the backend and DB." That desperate "Deploy*" followed by "Applogies" is the digital equivalent of watching someone drop a vase in slow motion. The frantic prayer hands emoji really sells the absolute panic. And the cherry on top? "It was a typo." Sure, John. We all accidentally type "destroy the backend and DB" when we meant "deploy some minor updates." Happens to the best of us. That's why the "take the day off" suggestion isn't kindness—it's survival instinct.

Content Senior Dev wondering why API is returning data: 1 Me who ran a delete query in production DB in pgAdmin: It might be my fault.