He Paid 44 Billion To Get Dunked On

Content When non-nerds try to act nerdy: 01001000 01000101 01000100 01001100 01001111 JUST WANTED TOSAY HELLO INCOMPUTERLANGUAGE

Little Tim tried to hack his way onto the nice list with a SQL injection attack, but Santa's not having it. The kid literally tried to use INSERT INTO [NiceList] SELECT * FROM [NaughtyList];-- to move everyone from the naughty list to the nice list. The real kicker? Santa's running his operation on "several dozen interconnected Excel spreadsheets, like a professional." That's the most terrifying part of this whole scenario. Imagine tracking billions of children's moral behavior in Excel. Absolute nightmare fuel for any data engineer.

Oh look, it's the modern developer's daily ritual! That moment when you check what you stepped in and discover it's not regular garbage—it's AI Generated SQL . The perfect representation of what happens when you let AI write your database queries. Sure, it looks like SQL from a distance, but examine it closely and you'll find a horrifying abomination that would make even the most battle-hardened DBA weep. Nothing says "I've made terrible life choices" quite like debugging code that was hallucinated by an algorithm with the database knowledge of a caffeinated squirrel. Next time just write the query yourself, unless you enjoy explaining to your boss why the production database is suddenly identifying as a toaster.

Content Related Will C ever be replaced by other languages? C may be replaced by another language right after the following events occur: USA changes to the Unit International System (meters and so on), France, Germany and Spain understand that English is better and change to speak in English, The same with China and Russia, UK changes to drive to the right, Japan follows the initiative of the UK, The Democrats understand that the left ideas are wrong and vote massively to Trump, China abandon the Yuan in favor of USD, The same with Russia going to USD, The Bolivian government changes and respects its own Constitution and stops trying to be re-elected indefinitely. Well, after all this happens, it is possible (only possible) for some C programmers to start thinking about switching to another language. Regards. 10. i0

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER IN THe BEGINNING, THERE WAS ThE hEaven AND THE EARTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET THERE BE LIGHT! BUT ThE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YOU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUt That's OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE Wherev BUT BECAUSE OF ThE DEPENDEncY, LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALLY CLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT'S ThE THIRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT the CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USINg COoKIES, NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT we Tart UNFORTUNATELY MAKES THEM MORTAL BuT The CLienT FOrGoT to LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER IT's THE FOuRTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE ST TURNS OUT THE ISSUES TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTrACTIONS,AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH FLAT EARTH DESIGN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S THE FIFtH DaY YOU START ADDING PeOPLE TO HELP YOU ON THE SIXTH DAY YoU LOOK AT THe CHAOS YOU CREATED ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST BUT YoU NEED To ORGANISE ALL YoU'VE CREATED DANGLING POINTE YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES FUCKIT.JS) SQUERI YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. DAVTIMEAIR.JS HORMONE SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.JS BASE.JS GIRAFFE.JS SUNDE MONGODB TOGGL.COM MART VIRKUS '17

Ah, the eternal throne room of data storage, where CSV sits as the reluctant monarch. While Postgres kneels before the throne with actual database capabilities, Excel and HyperCard stand guard like knights who peaked in high school. Meanwhile, Google Sheets, Access, and Airtable huddle on the floor like peasants who think they'll someday be invited to dinner. The real joke? We all complain about CSV's lack of typing, relations, and basic sanity checks, yet it's outlived every "proper" database solution we've thrown at it. It's the cockroach of data formats - nuclear war wouldn't kill it, just create more variants with inconsistent delimiters.