The Chaddest Dev To Rule Them All

Content programing professors Um. whatcha got there? global variables me A smoothie

Content React Vue.is Angular Svelte Me using query and Bootstrap to make webpages for enterprise

Content rAskReddit LS-Eleni 12h After you die, you get access to a database with all the information ever known or collected throughout human history. What do you search for first? Discussion 4.5k 2.0k Share BEST COMMENTS NicNoletree 11h 1 Award Find out what database software they use, how much data they have, and begin looking at the table structure and relationships. Reply 1.4k jeremy1015 6h Plot twist: It's Mongo and the entirety of human history is stored in a single JSON object. The top level is a kev called "events" and the value is an unsorted arrav. 217 Junior SeniorTrainee 3h Turns out god is a really nervous DB admin waiting for the inevitable. All the Apocalypse stuff in the Bible was actually just a misunderstanding of him saving "Guvs vou don't get it, I literally built this shit in seven days when I probably should've spent vears on it. But management was pressuring me to deliver in seven davs so I had to hack together this garbage and it will definitely break anv minute now. 4 159 Aran. 2h Mistranslation in the Bible. On the 7th day he tested.

Content CHLO chlothegod Y'all pronounce it data or data? RJ itsrjhill I'm mad that I read these words in two different ways... but you're trippin if you think it's data and not data

Content SOL f Sick Quick Lick (SQL), noun: when a female's partner's feeling under the weather and not up for regular sexual intercourse, the SQL is a reliable way of defusing tension and satisfying multiple parties. Simply perform normal cunnilingus (or fellatio, with more tongue action) until completion. Ideally, it should only be a few minutes, lest the SQL turn into SOL (Sick Overtime Lick) and the receiving party becomes SOL. Also, apparently a data query language or something I caught a nasty cold the other day, so I just gave mygf a good SQL ProarammerHumor.io

Nothing says "responsible parenting" quite like abandoning your child with a mainframe computer from the 1970s and a COBOL manual! This is basically the programming equivalent of leaving your kid with dinosaurs as babysitters. That poor child is about to learn that semicolons aren't just for English class and that punch cards were the original "swipe right." The ultimate character-building exercise: debug COBOL or no dinner tonight! Honestly, this might explain why so many banking systems still run on ancient code - those traumatized children grew up and refused to ever touch the code again.