Crashing Prod With Our Best Of Intentions

The entire financial world runs on COBOL code written when dinosaurs roamed the earth. New programmers see this ancient language and want it burned at the stake, but banks cling to it like Gollum with the precious ring. Why rewrite millions of lines of working code when you can just pay COBOL developers obscene amounts of money instead? The banking industry's motto: "If it's broken enough to work for 60 years, don't fix it."

THE AUDACITY of people pronouncing SQL as "sequel" is the hill I will DIE ON! 💀 It's S-Q-L, you monsters! The full name is "Structured Query Language" - where exactly is this mythical "E" hiding?! Database developers across the universe are LITERALLY SPLITTING INTO WARRING FACTIONS over this pronunciation catastrophe. One side smugly spelling it out letter by letter while the "sequel" crowd struts around like they've invented a better sorting algorithm. The database wars aren't about Oracle vs. MySQL - they're about who's going to snap first in the next meeting when someone says "sequel server" instead of "S-Q-L server"!

Content Colin Landforce landforce DoorDash is rolling out a program where everyone on their team does a delivery at least once a month. Some of their engineers, who make upwards of 400k, are outraged that they will have to actually use the product that they build. Bunch of losers. Tech Industry Doordash making engineers deliver food DoorDash ddasher Yesterday Mandatory "WeDash" starts from next year. You need to dash once a month. WILL BE TRACKED IN PERFORMANCE REVIEWS!! What the actual fuck? I didn't sign up for this, there was nothing in the offer letterjob description about this. TC: 400K Join Talent by Blind to get jobs 1 280 407 12:24 PM Dec 24, 2021 from Portland, OR Twitter for iPhone ProdrammerHumor.io Share

Content What You Will Be Doing Implementing Al from the ground up in projects, enhancing everything from feature development to problem-solving. Crafting Al-generated summaries to streamline knowledge across products, domains, or corporate intelligence, boosting team efficiency. Showcasing the power of Al in improving software development processes, emphasizing its role as a booster, not a replacement. What You Won't Be Doing Dwelling on manual debugging. With Al, identify and resolve issues swiftly, leaving outdated methods behind. Cetting caught in the management trap. Concentrate on what you do best-coding and creating innovative solutions-rather than getting sidetracked by managerial tasks. Senior Software Engineer Key Responsibilities Drive the integration of Al into our development process, setting new standards in innovation, efficiency, and customer satisfaction for Totogi's product suite. Basic Requirements Familiarity with different LLM architectures and the ability to select the most appropriate model for specific tasks The ability to integrate LLMs into DevOps pipelines Experience using LLMs for tasks like code generation, code completion, and automated code review The ability to integrate vector databases with LLMs for tasks like question answering or information retrieval ProdrammerHumor io

Content Me: Lets try to reduce the stress before xmas My Team Monday Morning: 8:25 AM HI can you kindly help me with the settings value on Or the most recent update before today i did a wrong selection when running a query to update a value. 9:01 AM What value do i need to change? 9:02 AM We need to update everything I wanted to update one value but selected without the where clause table (edited)

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft