Don't Jinx It: The Database Is Listening

Content A guy enters a shop. The clerk ask him, "good morning Sir. How can I help you? What is your wish?" The guy replies with a strange pronuncation: "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow", and moves his hands as to describe some box. The clerk did not understand and asks: "Excuse me sir?" The guy repeats his words and hand movements: "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow" The clerk has no clue what to do and gets his boss. The boss shows up, greets the customer, and the customer goes again, "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow". Boss and clerk are helpless, they bring in the trainee. The trainee also gets the show of the customer, runs into the store, hands something to the customer. The customer pays some amount, picks his goods and disappears with it. "And what did you bring him?" boss and clerk ask the trainee. Trainee replies with the same hand movement of the customer: "Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow" Bottom line: This is a practical "object oriented approach": Object-Oriented Programming and Java 2 Springer Uhee. Uhuh. Uhow. made with mematio

Content rAskReddit Posted b utakiniteasv88 11h The internet is scheduled to go down forever. You have a week to prepare and download anything from the web you think is necessary to have for the rest of your life. What do you download and why? 10 18 13 17 5 48.8k 7.1k Share BEST NEW TOP cbite 9h , 3 Awards Every How-To book ever written. At this point, the only way the internet is shutting down is if the world is ending. Gotta know how to start over. Reply 9.9k Rosehawka 6h . 3 Awards "Are we putting "python for dummies" or "intro to c" on the fire tonight, darling?"

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Content Tweet Pavel Asparouhov Pavel Asparagus The long term implications of weird nerds becoming the new ruling class haven't been thought through 3:16 PM 1422 . Twitter Web App

Content rAskReddit LS-Eleni 12h After you die, you get access to a database with all the information ever known or collected throughout human history. What do you search for first? Discussion 4.5k 2.0k Share BEST COMMENTS NicNoletree 11h 1 Award Find out what database software they use, how much data they have, and begin looking at the table structure and relationships. Reply 1.4k jeremy1015 6h Plot twist: It's Mongo and the entirety of human history is stored in a single JSON object. The top level is a kev called "events" and the value is an unsorted arrav. 217 Junior SeniorTrainee 3h Turns out god is a really nervous DB admin waiting for the inevitable. All the Apocalypse stuff in the Bible was actually just a misunderstanding of him saving "Guvs vou don't get it, I literally built this shit in seven days when I probably should've spent vears on it. But management was pressuring me to deliver in seven davs so I had to hack together this garbage and it will definitely break anv minute now. 4 159 Aran. 2h Mistranslation in the Bible. On the 7th day he tested.

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