I Sinned With Main.h

The eternal battle between old-school C programmers and modern OOP enthusiasts in one perfect scene. Junior dev begging for objects and inheritance while the grizzled senior dev gives that look that says "back in my day we manually managed memory and LIKED IT." The irony is both are right - OOP gives you nice abstractions, but if your renderer needs performance, those virtual function calls are just expensive sugar. Ten years into your career and you'll be writing C-style code in C++ too, trust me.

Writing 1,000 lines of C++ to save 0.4 seconds compared to 10 lines of Python. That's like building a nuclear reactor to toast bread. Sure, your program runs faster, but you spent three weeks debugging memory leaks while the Python dev went home at 5pm. But hey, those microseconds really matter when you're waiting for the coffee machine anyway.

When you've been writing high-level code for months and suddenly Assembly language walks by with all those sexy direct hardware instructions. Meanwhile, C just stands there watching you betray your programming principles for a chance to manipulate memory addresses directly. Sure, you'll regret it when you're debugging segmentation faults at 2AM, but for now... that bare metal performance is just too tempting.

The forbidden romance of our time: a C++ programmer falling head over heels for Rust. After years of wrestling with memory leaks and segmentation faults, our C++ dev has found salvation in Rust's memory safety and modern features. It's like watching someone who's been in a toxic relationship for 20 years finally find someone who respects their boundaries. The compiler actually prevents them from making bad decisions instead of just shrugging and saying "whatever, it's your funeral" when they dereference a null pointer.

This code is peak developer therapy. When your C++ program crashes, it doesn't just fail silently—it vents . The first handler randomly blames an imaginary esoteric language (malbolge, brainfuck, or lisp) for your problems, while the second handler perfectly captures the existential dread of pointer manipulation. The comment "TODO: add more languages to make fun of" is the cherry on top—because even in our error handlers, we maintain a proper backlog. The developer who wrote this has clearly reached the "humor as coping mechanism" stage of programming.

Oh my goodness, this is TOO REAL ! 😂 C header files are like that friendly neighbor who just tells you what they can do. But C++ header files? They're that chaotic friend who shows up with their entire life story, template metaprogramming nightmares, and 17 nested namespaces! You open one expecting a simple interface and suddenly you're staring into the void of implementation details that would make Cthulhu weep. Every C++ developer knows that feeling when you include one innocent header and your compile time suddenly jumps to "maybe finish before the heat death of the universe." The header should include interface only... but C++ had other plans!