C Strings Are Not Safe

The ultimate family drama of programming languages! C and C++ are asked if they're friends, and C++ enthusiastically says "Yes" while C firmly says "No." Classic one-sided relationship where C++ was literally built on top of C, inheriting all its features and extending them with object-oriented goodness. Meanwhile, C is that stubborn grandpa who refuses to acknowledge the fancy descendant with all those "unnecessary abstractions." It's like C is still mad that C++ took its syntax, added a bunch of complexity, and then had the audacity to put "++" in its name like it's somehow better. The compatibility is strictly one-directional - just like that one friend who always borrows your stuff but never lets you touch theirs.

Looks like someone's been using this C programming book exactly as intended - as a surface for cutting lines of cocaine. Memory management isn't the only unsafe thing about C! The white powder trails are just the perfect metaphor for how C gives you enough rope to completely destroy yourself. No wonder programmers stay up for 72 hours straight debugging pointer arithmetic - they've got chemical assistance! Now we finally understand why Kernighan and Ritchie created null-terminated strings... they were clearly under the influence of something.

Ah, the infamous C++ gang war between \0 and endl. Real programmers know this turf battle well. One side uses the null terminator to end strings like a silent assassin, while the other prefers the more verbose endl to flush streams after a newline. The streets of code get messy when these two cross paths in the same codebase. And somewhere in the distance, a senior developer sighs while using neither and opts for '\n' instead.

The beautiful art of recursive self-torture. The function why_are_you_hitting_yourself() calls itself inside its own definition, creating an infinite loop of self-abuse that would make any compiler cry. Then main() joins the party by calling it too. It's the programming equivalent of that childhood game where your older sibling grabs your hand and makes you slap your own face while asking "why are you hitting yourself?" Except in this case, the function is both the bully and the victim. Infinite recursion without a base case - because who needs stack memory anyway?

The classic programmer's transitive property. "If I know A and B, then I know C" logic taken to its absurd conclusion. Like claiming you're fluent in Italian because you once ate at Olive Garden. Next they'll say they know machine code because they touched a computer once. The confidence of someone who thinks programming languages are just Pokémon evolutions of each other.

Ah, the C++ programmer's evolution. You start as a bearded wizard with arcane knowledge of pointers and memory management, trudging through life with stooped shoulders from carrying the weight of manual garbage collection. Then you discover "The C++ Programming Language" with its anime girl cover, and suddenly you're skipping through meadows with cat ears. Seven years and 1,500 pages of Bjarne Stroustrup later, and you've transformed from a grizzled code veteran into a kawaii programming princess. Because nothing says "I've mastered multiple inheritance and template metaprogramming" like spontaneously growing cat ears and a frilly dress. Trust me, I've seen it happen to senior engineers. One day they're arguing about pointer arithmetic, the next they're debating the best color for their programming socks. The transformation is inevitable.