C Strings Are Not Safe

The dream of every developer who's spent too much time shopping for domains: create your own TLD like .dev or .io and become the overlord of developer vanity URLs. Just need that small loan of a million dollars first! Meanwhile, we're all stuck paying $50/year for that perfect domain name that we'll use for exactly one weekend project before abandoning it. The modern developer's equivalent of buying gym equipment that becomes an expensive clothes hanger.

When your antivirus flags a "Hello World" program as malware. That moment when Visual Studio thinks your perfectly innocent C++ code is actually a sophisticated cyber attack. The compiler's paranoia level is over 9000! Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like a misunderstood genius whose revolutionary "print" statement is clearly too powerful for this world. Security systems trembling before the might of your semicolons.

Confessing your forbidden love for Python in the programming church? Straight to developer hell! The irony is Python's supposed to be the "pure" language with its clean syntax, yet we're all secretly seduced by its indentation-based structure and one-liners that make other languages look like verbose garbage. The real sin is how productive you become while other devs are still fighting with semicolons and curly braces. Forgiveness not guaranteed from the C++ priesthood.

THE SHEER POWER! THE ABSOLUTE DOMINANCE! Behold the rare moment when a developer's code compiles on the first try and they transform into a strategic mastermind ready to conquer the world! That smug little smirk says it all – "I am basically a coding deity now." Meanwhile, the rest of us are still battling 47 syntax errors and questioning our career choices. The red smoke background is literally the servers not burning for once. Chess pieces? Please. Real programmers know the only game that matters is "Will It Compile Or Will I Cry?"

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this person claiming they "use C++ in JavaScript" only to reveal they're just using the increment operator in a for loop! 😱 The sheer DRAMA when they're challenged to "SHOW ME" and they proudly display that pathetic c++ in their loop like it's some groundbreaking achievement! Honey, that's not C++ programming, that's just the increment operator that exists in LITERALLY EVERY C-STYLE LANGUAGE EVER CREATED! 💅 And the reaction? PRICELESS! The absolute howling laughter is what happens when you make such a ridiculous claim in front of actual developers. It's like saying you speak French because you can say "oui oui" while eating a croissant! I CANNOT with these people! 🤦‍♀️

The eternal dilemma of function design perfectly illustrated on an IQ bell curve. The low-IQ crowd (0.1%) and high-IQ geniuses (0.1%) agree: "Just add a new function." Meanwhile, the average devs (34%) in the middle are sweating bullets, desperately clinging to their sacred principle of code reuse: "NO WE SHOULD ADD ANOTHER PARAMETER AND REUSE CODE!" It's the horseshoe theory of programming - both extremes of the intelligence spectrum somehow reach the same conclusion while the "well-actually" crowd in the middle is busy creating those monstrous functions with 17 optional parameters, 9 of which are booleans. And they wonder why nobody wants to maintain their code...