When My Friend Flexes Their "Advanced" Programming Skills

Content GOTTHE PRINCESS! HOW TO SAVE THE PRINCESS BY O toggl USING 8 PROGRAMMING Goon SquAD LANGUAGES YOU HAVE JAVASCRIPT YoU SPEND HOUrS PICKING LIBRARIES, SETTING UP NODE BUILDING A FRAME WORK FOR THE CASTLE. BY THE TIME YoUrE FiNIShEd wIth THE FRAME WORK, THE FORT HAS REEN ABANDONED AND THE PRINCESS MAST MOVED TO ANOTHER CASTLE YOU HAVE YOU HAVE A LIBRARY FOR A CASTLE A LIBRARY FOR THE PRINCESS - CHARGE! YOU RESCUE THE PRINCESS HER DOG, HER ENTIRE WARDROBE EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER EATEN... FUCK - DID I FORGET NULL -TERMINATOR YOU HAVE C YOU SPEND HOURS TRYING TO EXPRESS THE ENTIRE RESCUE IN A SINGLE LING QUERY YOU GIVE UP AND GO TO STACKOVERFLOW TO HAVE JON SKEET RESCUE THE PRINCESS FOR YOU. YOU HAVE JAVA YOU QUICKLY DEPLOY THE RESCUE TO PRODUCTION YoU DISCOVER YoUvE LOADED TWO VERSIONS OF THE CASTLE BUT NO PRINCESS YOU HAVE LISP YOU HAVE Go WE DON'T SUPPORT FREEING CAPTURED PRINCESSES, WE ALREADY HAVE THESE FREE PRINCESSES IN THE STANDARD LIBR... ...WAIT, IS THIS THE PRINCESS FROM THE JAVA PANEL YOU HAVE PASCAL YOU DECLARE YOUR PRINCESS CASTLE RESCUE PLAN THEN YOU GO FOR A DRINK FORGET ABOUT THE IMPLEMENTATION YOU HAVE PHP YOU HAVE TO RESCUE THE PRINCESS... ... IN PHP... MART VIRKUS '16 ProarammerHumor.io toggl

The real exception handling workflow no instructor will teach you! Instead of actually handling errors properly, this genius just copies the error message, builds a StackOverflow URL with it, and automatically opens a browser tab. It's basically outsourcing your problem-solving to random internet strangers who'll either solve your issue or mock your coding skills into oblivion. The modern developer's prayer: "Dear StackOverflow gods, please let someone have encountered this obscure error before me."

OMG, the BRUTAL TRUTH of programming stereotypes just slapped me across the face! 💅 Assembly/C++/Java programmers? ABSOLUTE MUSCLE-BOUND CHADS who wrestle with memory management like it's their personal gym equipment. Rust devs? Dramatic theater kids constantly SOBBING about borrowing and ownership. JavaScript developers? Literal MILITANTS ready to fight you over whether semicolons are necessary. And then there's Python - the INTELLECTUAL who will explain to you in EXCRUCIATING detail why their language is superior while adjusting their glasses. I'm SCREAMING at how accurately this captures our collective programming personalities!

OH. MY. GOD. The BETRAYAL! 😱 Fresh-faced newbies turning their backs on centuries of programming tradition to chase after that flirty, seductive "vibe coding" with its pretty frameworks and no documentation! Meanwhile, traditional coding stands there UTTERLY DEVASTATED watching its relationship crumble before its eyes! The audacity! The drama! It's like watching your partner leave you for someone who doesn't even know what a pointer is but has really cool Instagram filters. And honestly? I can't even blame them - who wants to spend 5 hours debugging a segmentation fault when you could just npm install your problems away?

Behold, the RAWEST git commit in the history of software development! This developer isn't just frustrated—they're having a full-blown existential crisis while wrestling with Google's API. The combination of profanity-laden code comments, a random cat image, and a commit message threatening Google engineers is the coding equivalent of throwing your laptop out a 10-story window while screaming into the void. The absolute AUDACITY of writing " too lazy to fix this piece of shit " and then committing it to the repository is the kind of chaotic energy we should all fear. This isn't just technical debt—it's technical bankruptcy with a side of unhinged rage that's going to haunt the next developer who has to maintain this code.

Content JAVASCRIPT MYTHESERVER WAS A MISTAKE Albert Einstein unighip.com