The Startup Death Valley Graph

That moment when you think you're so clever pushing that "tiny fix" to production at 4:59 PM on Friday. "What could possibly go wrong?" you whisper, closing your laptop with a smirk. Fast forward to Saturday morning—your phone looking like a bomb went off, your boss knows your home address, and somehow the production database is now speaking Klingon. The sheer terror in those eyes is the universal developer experience of realizing your weekend plans just transformed into 48 hours of emergency patches and explaining to executives why the shopping cart now redirects to cat videos.

The modern developer's version control system: ChatGPT. Sure, we've evolved from USB sticks to Google Drive, but some of us have ascended to a higher plane of chaotic development—keeping our precious code snippets in chat history with an AI. Nothing says "senior developer with impeccable practices" quite like frantically scrolling through your conversation history at 2 PM during a production outage trying to find that one clever function you wrote last month. Git who? Never heard of her.

Content Devs can't pull Project. git on Windows machines because a file is named "Aux". What are our options? Create Linux VMs to SSH into Everyone can use WSL Rename the file?

Content 32h What programming language do you use ? What containers do you use ? What IDE do you use? How do you store your records? What framework do you use for your unit testing ? 60 5 2 Awards C hashtag. Rubbermaid. Microsoft Word. In album jackets. The fuck is unit testing? 4 124 I Th "The fuck is unit testing" Authentic programmer confirmed :- 83 3

Content Angelina Lee Software Engineer Skills Experience Education 415-812-3329 AngelinaTheDevgmail.com angelinathedev.netlify.app Experienced software engineer with a background of building scalable systems in the fintech, health, and adult entertainment industries. Expert in JavaScript, TypeScript, Node.js, React Al, Mia Khalifa, C Instagram Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team October 2018 - PRESENT, Palo Alto, California Built news feed infrastructure using React for Al on BlockChain Optimized web app feed performance through new server-side React larceny Al algorithm to quickly resolve big data pipeline Led team of 6 engineers to mine Ethereum on company servers Team coffee maker - ensured team of 6 was fully caffeinated with Antarctican coffee beans ground to 14 nm particles Zillow Senior Full Stack Engineer - Web App Team June 2015 - September 2018, San Francisco, California Added Al based GraphQL, resulting in 69 faster page loads Organized team bonding through company potato sack race resulting in increased team bonding and cohesity Rebuilt home display page with virtualized tables and map to provide a 420fps on screen experience with Lana Rhodes Evangelized and adopted RaeLilBlack React UI library Linkedin Software Engineer - Search Team June 2013 - September 2015, San Francisco, California Improved Linked search algorithm efficiency and accuracy through the usage of VoldemortDB, Charizard, and Hadoop Connected with Reid Hoffman on LinkedIn and slid in the dm's Implemented data quality improvements via deduplication and advanced profile ranking resulting in faster big data with React Microsoft Software Engineer Intern - Edge Team May 2011 - August 2012, Redmond, Washington Built React based big data pipeline to enhance deployment stability of Microsoft Edge browser on the Blockchain Spearheaded Microsofters 4 Trump company rally Spread Herpes STD to 60 of intern team University of California Berkeley B.S. in Computer Science August 2010 - May 2013, Berkeley, California Graduated Summa Cum Laude with a 3.94 GPA Helped found Machine Learning at Berkeley Club Phi Beta Phi - fraternity record for most vodka shots in one night 23482400 SAT score

Nothing says "I'm processing my emotions in a healthy way" like stacking five Dell servers in your bedroom and spending 72 sleepless hours configuring container orchestration. The sweet hum of overheating hardware drowns out those pesky feelings, and the electricity bill that rivals a small nation's GDP is totally worth it. Who needs a therapist asking about your childhood when you can debug YAML files at 3 AM? It's not hoarding if it's infrastructure .