Old Man Yells At Cloud Services

Content ankit WtFawwk starts typing a new line of code IDE: what is that? what are you writing? tell me right now! wtf? that's not right! is that even rea.. completes the line IDE: oh lol nvm. 9:26 PM - 08 Jun 20 Twitter for Android ProgrammerHumor. i0

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Windows setup: "Almost done! Just need to finish configuring your system..." Me: *breathes in relief* OneDrive: *emerges with knife* "Did someone say they wanted their precious C:\ drive contents automatically synced to the cloud whether they like it or not?" The eternal struggle between wanting to just use your computer as a computer versus Microsoft's desperate need to assimilate your files into their cloud borg collective. The knife is just there to remind you that resistance is futile.

Content STOP DOING GIT CODE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE BRANCHES YEARS OF MERGING yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for DECENTRALIZED VERSION CONTROL Wanted to keep multiple versions of a file for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "file. copy2-final.js". "Yes, please PUSH your code into my FORK. CHERRY-PICK A COMMIT" - Statements dreamed by the utterly Deranged "Hello, I'd like to show you my changes. Sure, JUST CREATE A BRANCH, PUSH TO ORIGIN and CREATE A PULL REQUEST" (When we had perfectly working flash drives) ???? ??????? ????????????? Devops have played us for absolute fools

Content Your Qualifications: 7 years of experience building services with .NET Core Understanding of microservice architectures Hands-on experience with modern JavaScript frameworks, such as Angular or React Expert knowledge of SQL and understanding of database principles Experience with Kafka or other messaging systems, cloud services, Docker, andor Kubernetes preferred Interpersonal skills and the ability to present to team members in a clear, articulate manner

Ah, the classic startup life where your job description is "everything." Big companies have entire departments managing cloud infrastructure, but at startups? You're not just wearing multiple hats—you're the entire hat factory. Nothing says "we're disrupting the industry" quite like one sleep-deprived developer frantically Googling "how to AWS" at 3 AM while simultaneously being the backend team, frontend team, DevOps engineer, and the guy who fixes the coffee machine. Your LinkedIn says "Full Stack Developer" but your reality is "Full Panic Mode." Bonus points if you've ever uttered the phrase "it works on my machine" to yourself because there's literally no one else to say it to.