No One Can Stop Bro

Content MICROSERVICES SCALABILITY, SMALL AND INDEPENDENT APPS CONTAINERS, ORCHESTRATION, API GATEWAYS, AUTOSCALING, LOAD BALANCING, EVENT DRIVEN ARCHITECTURE INTEGRATION, MESSAGE BUSES, SERVICE DISCOVERY, PUBSUBS, ASYNC, COMMUNICATION PROTOCOLS MONITORING, TRACING, LOGGING, DEBUGGING, SECURITY DISTRIBUTED OBJECTS, EVENTUAL CONSISTENCY, BOUNDED CONTEXTS, TRANSACTIONS, SAGAS, NETWORK PARTITIONS SHARDING, DISTRIBUTED MONOUTH, CACHING, DISTRIBUTED SCHEMA, MONOREPO

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When your cloud budget runs dry but your boss still wants that serverless architecture... Behold! The pinnacle of innovation: "AWS Cloud" written with a Sharpie on a CD. The "offline version" is just *chef's kiss*. Remember when we thought the cloud was just someone else's computer? Turns out it can also be your own dusty CD-ROM from 2003. Next up: "Kubernetes Cluster" written on a stack of floppy disks. Por fin indeed! 🙏

Content oVicloud Rare picture of the Cloud escaping from a datacenter

You know a system is overengineered when "just authenticate" requires a flowchart that looks like a Rube Goldberg machine designed by someone who hates humanity. Normal auth: hand over credentials, get token, done. Simple. Elegant. Works. AWS IAM: Create a user. No wait, create a policy first. Actually, create a role. Now assume that role. But first, authenticate with an assumed role. Oh, and calculate a quadruple-nested HMAC signature using AWS4, your secret key, a timestamp that better be formatted EXACTLY right (good luck with timezones), the region, the service name, and probably your firstborn's social security number. Then pray you didn't mess up the date format because AWS will reject your request with a cryptic error message at 3 AM. Fun fact: AWS Signature Version 4 requires you to create a "canonical request" by hashing your request, then create a "string to sign" by hashing that hash, then calculate the signature by... you guessed it, more hashing. It's hashes all the way down. Security through obscurity? Nah, security through making developers cry. IAM stands for "I Absolutely Miserable" at this point.

Content Big Tech looking forwho to lay off Everyone who posted a Day in the Life TikTok reldHarry