The Internet's Precarious Foundation

Content Normal and sane authorizations: give your client credentials get your auth token and fuck off AWS: create IAM user - create policy - assign the policy to the IAM user auth with assumed- assume the role for create a role IAM user role calculate HMACHMACHMACHMAC("AWS4" kSecret,"20150830"),"us-east-1"),"iam"),"aws4request" with the information from previous steps sum them all up in authorization header and hope to go that you didnt fuck up time format

Content When vou are a junior engineer asked to review your senior engineer's PR, and is vour turn to point out flaws in the code Look at me. I'm the captain now

Content Amit Gupta amitkgupta84 Maybe AWS keeps going down because they run all their stuff on prem 8:03 PM Dec 22, 2021 Twitter Web App 1,128 Retweets 123 Quote Tweets 7,206 Likes 17 1 ProgrammerHumor in

Oh honey, you sweet summer child recruiter. You think you're hiring ONE person? Bless your heart. You've basically listed the skill requirements for an entire Fortune 500 company's tech division and slapped "Full Stack Developer" on it like it's a cute little job title. Backend? Check. Frontend? Check. Three different databases because apparently one wasn't enough trauma? Check. The ENTIRE AWS ecosystem? Sure, why not! Oh and while we're at it, throw in system administration, containerization, orchestration, AND test-driven development because clearly this mythical unicorn developer has 47 hours in their day. The punchline hits different because it's TRUE. This isn't a job posting—it's a cry for help disguised as a LinkedIn post. They're not looking for a developer; they're looking for someone to BE the entire IT infrastructure while probably offering "competitive salary" (translation: $65k and unlimited coffee).

So apparently even the men's room runs on cloud infrastructure now. When AWS goes down, so does your ability to go... down. The ultimate proof that we've over-engineered society: your bathroom privileges are now hostage to Jeff Bezos' server farms. Next time your product manager asks "can we move this to the cloud?", show them this picture of biological functions being denied due to digital dysfunction. At least the bathroom has better error messaging than most AWS status dashboards.

Finally found the data center where my AWS instances are running. Turns out "elastic compute cloud" is just cotton balls on shelves. No wonder my database queries are taking forever - they're being processed by literal fluff. At least their disaster recovery plan is solid: a spray bottle and a fan.