State Of Certifications: No Hands On

Content Amit Gupta amitkgupta84 Maybe AWS keeps going down because they run all their stuff on prem 8:03 PM Dec 22, 2021 Twitter Web App 1,128 Retweets 123 Quote Tweets 7,206 Likes 17 1 ProgrammerHumor in

Content Generic Name EDUCATION Blue Mountain State, Undergrad September 2018 - May 2022 Graduated with a GPA of 2.33 Minored in Artificial Intelligence with C- grade President of Anime Club PROJECTS Calculator App Supports addition and subtraction and multiplication sometimes. 8000 lines of Java code Built a user friendly interface with command prompt Deployed on AWS 70 code coverage Snoop Dapp Cross platform mobile application built with Ionic Sends a notification at 4:20 am to all users Notifications managed with AWS SQS service Extracts users personal info if notification not acknowledged Stores user information in AWS S3 storage TodoBlock Todo list app constructed on the AWS managed blockchain The decentralized architecture publicly shames the user into finishing their tasks Increased productivity of users by 67 1 111111111 genericnamegmail.com https:github.comGeneric SKILLS Mastered version control with file names Worked extensively with Turing machines ACHIEVEMENTS 13 tshirts from various Hackathons and boot camps

The fastest way to burn through $100M? Just whisper "AWS" and watch your bank account evaporate. That SRE knew exactly what they were doing - nothing drains a budget faster than spinning up a few "right-sized" EC2 instances and forgetting about them for a weekend. The genie immediately adding a fourth rule is basically Amazon's business model in a nutshell. Honestly, at least gambling gives you a chance of winning something back.

Congratulations, you've discovered the secret to cheap cloud infrastructure: child labor and psychological warfare! Nothing says "DevOps efficiency" quite like threatening junior developers with abandonment in the AWS jungle if they don't fix your spaghetti infrastructure. The perfect metaphor for how most companies handle their cloud migration strategy - throw terrified newcomers at the problem until someone figures out why your Lambda functions are bleeding money. Those kids' tears are still cheaper than actual AWS consultants.

Ah, the classic "I could learn your entire career in 9 days" delusion! Nothing screams Dunning-Kruger effect quite like someone claiming they could master APIs, databases, and AWS deployment infrastructure in just over a week. The perfect response from our hero: "An actual coder would not make this comment." Brutal, efficient, and absolutely correct. It's like watching someone claim they could become a brain surgeon after watching a YouTube tutorial. And then the cherry on top - the original poster doubling down with "I could learn in 8 or 9 days" while completely missing that running production systems requires experience no bootcamp can provide. Sure, buddy, and I'll be playing Carnegie Hall after a weekend with a piano app.

Ah, the tech stack of modern civilization depicted as a Jenga tower that somehow hasn't collapsed yet. At the bottom, we've got ASML making the chips while C developers write dynamic arrays that would make any memory manager weep. The Linux Foundation holds up the entire internet while DNS occasionally decides whether your websites exist today. AWS and Cloudflare keep the lights on while unpaid open source developers silently prevent digital apocalypse. Meanwhile, AI sits there looking smug while Microsoft does... whatever it is Microsoft does these days. And there you are, somewhere in the middle of this precarious structure, just trying to make a web app that doesn't crash when someone types an emoji.