Your AI Girlfriend

When Indeed thinks your software engineering skills make you perfect for managing a fast food joint, but still has the audacity to include a "This is a bad match" button. The irony is delicious – unlike what you'd be serving at El Pollo Loco. The tech industry in 2024: Spend 10 years mastering distributed systems and microservices architecture so you can flip chicken and manage teenagers making minimum wage. But hey, you get to "apply your skills in a new industry" – because apparently writing code and cooking poultry require the same skill set!

Ah yes, the anatomically accurate ChatGPT brain - a couple of smooth pink blobs with absolutely zero wrinkles. Just hover over those non-existent brain areas for more non-existent information. Turns out all those billions of parameters are stored in what appears to be a 3D render someone made during their first Blender tutorial. Neural networks? More like neural balloons.

Standing in a field waiting for AI to replace developers who can't handle regex? Might be a while. Regular expressions aren't actually hard—they're just a precise language for pattern matching that follows logical rules. The real challenge is remembering to escape your backslashes twice and not writing patterns so complex that future-you sends death threats to past-you. Meanwhile, AI still struggles with "select all images with traffic lights," so maybe learn regex instead of waiting for the robot uprising.

The death spiral of Stack Overflow begins! That sharp nosedive right after ChatGPT's release isn't just a graph—it's the sound of millions of developers closing their "how to center a div" tabs. Why spend 20 minutes getting roasted by forum veterans when AI will give you the answer without judging your life choices? Stack Overflow: where questions were answered with "Did you even try Google?" Now we're all asking ChatGPT, "Can you fix my garbage code?" and it politely says "Certainly!" instead of "Delete your IDE."

ChatGPT can't count words properly, and we're worried about AI taking our jobs? Please. The robot uprising will be delayed by basic arithmetic errors. It's like watching a calculator struggle with 2+2 while claiming it's ready to design nuclear reactors. The irony of an AI failing at following simple instructions about word count is just *chef's kiss* perfect job security.

The tech industry's secret decoder ring has been revealed! Someone finally explained why all our tech acronyms are suspiciously connected to India. GPT isn't some fancy language model—it's just a Gujarati with exceptional typing skills. And here I was thinking AI stood for "Artificial Intelligence" when it's actually just outsourcing with extra steps. Next they'll tell us that DNS actually stands for "Delhi Network Support" and HTTP is "Help Ticket from Tamil Pradesh."