You Little Silicon-Based Traitor

When your neural network sees a GPU and a 3D loss function plot trying to solve what your brain does naturally: "Look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power." Hardware engineers sweating as they build increasingly monstrous GPUs just to calculate gradients, while the human brain sitting there using 20 watts and somehow understanding why that cat meme is funny. The ultimate flex of biological computing.

Ah, the dream job has finally arrived. Not only do you get to work for free as a "Prompt Engineer," but you also pay $500 weekly for the privilege of... doing unpaid work. It's basically an expensive subscription to pretend you have a job. Next up: paying for air to breathe in the office. The recruiter probably thinks they're being generous by not charging for bathroom breaks.

Standing in a field waiting for AI to replace developers who can't handle regex? Might be a while. Regular expressions aren't actually hard—they're just a precise language for pattern matching that follows logical rules. The real challenge is remembering to escape your backslashes twice and not writing patterns so complex that future-you sends death threats to past-you. Meanwhile, AI still struggles with "select all images with traffic lights," so maybe learn regex instead of waiting for the robot uprising.

Content STOP DOING AGILE • SOFTWARE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SISYPHEAN • YEARS OF PROGRAMS yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for a DAILY STANDUP • Wanted to add features anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "WATERFALL" • "Yes please give me UNFINISHED software. Please let me work INFINITY hours"- Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged LOOK at what Programmers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the keyboards & mice we built for them (This is REAL Programming, done by REAL Programmers): SCRUM PROCESS ????? ????? ????????????????? "Hello I would like features please" They have played us for absolute fools

So you pitch your AI startup to VCs: "We're disrupting the industry with revolutionary machine learning!" They respond: "Cool, here's $50 million in funding to build it." Meanwhile, your actual tech stack is just OpenAI's API with some fancy CSS on top. The entire AI economy is basically investors throwing money at founders who then immediately hand it over to OpenAI, Anthropic, or Google for API credits. It's a beautiful circular economy where the only guaranteed winners are the companies actually training the models. The rest of us are just expensive middleware with pitch decks.