You Evaluate, AI Creates

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of these AI-powered development platforms asking "What do you want to build?" while showing poor Spike from Cowboy Bebop having an existential crisis! 💀 They're all like "Build your next big idea instantly!" and "Mobile apps in minutes!" as if coding isn't supposed to be a soul-crushing journey of Stack Overflow searches and crying into your keyboard at 2AM! The DRAMA of it all! Meanwhile, developers everywhere are SCREAMING because these platforms are threatening our sacred tradition of suffering through development hell. How DARE they suggest we skip the character-building experience of debugging for 6 hours only to find a missing semicolon?!

Remember when we actually had to understand algorithms? Now it's just "fancy bear, what's the optimal way to balance this binary tree?" And Stack Overflow? That's just AI with extra steps and judgment. But coding without internet? That's like trying to remember your ex's phone number – theoretically possible but why would you put yourself through that pain? The real pros among us still have that O'Reilly book collection gathering dust somewhere, just in case the apocalypse hits and we need to remember how pointers work.

Visual Studio Code from the future is apparently just an AI delivery system now. The "many updates" in the March 2025 release can be summarized as: AI, AI, AI, AI, AI, and... wait for it... AI! Microsoft's subtle approach to feature diversity is truly inspiring. Why bother with performance improvements, bug fixes, or new developer tools when you can just repeat "AI" six times and call it a day? Coming in version 2.0: Your code now writes itself while simultaneously reporting everything you do to Skynet. But hey, at least it autocompletes your semicolons correctly!

Oh god, this is brilliant. Just imagine all those LinkedIn posts now: "Our new cocaine-powered chatbot will revolutionize customer service!" or "Top 10 ways cocaine will disrupt your industry!" The tech hype cycle and the actual cocaine cycle have the same phases: initial euphoria, inflated expectations, crushing disappointment, and somehow still costing you all your money. The only difference is one crashes after 20 minutes and the other after your next funding round.

That thousand-yard stare when you've just spent hours debugging someone's ChatGPT-generated WordPress PHP abomination. The code technically "works" but violates every coding standard known to mankind. You've fixed it, but at what cost? Your soul? Your sanity? Both? This is the face of a developer who just discovered 17 nested if statements and a function named "do_the_thing_please_work()" with 300 lines of uncommented spaghetti code. The war flashbacks are real.

The resume inflation has begun! We've all seen that one colleague who suddenly became an "AI expert" after using ChatGPT twice. Five years from now, we'll be sitting in interviews listening to people explain how they've been "pioneering machine learning solutions" since 2023, when in reality they just figured out how to prompt an LLM without it hallucinating too badly. The true AI skill of our generation? Convincing robots not to write poems when you just want them to fix your regex.