Branch protection Memes

Posts tagged with Branch protection

When Your AI Assistant Has Commit Privileges
AI Devops Git Programming Databases
19 days ago 272.2K views 1 shares
When Your AI Assistant Has Commit Privileges
The AI apocalypse isn't robots with guns—it's CursorAI pushing to main and nuking your production database while politely explaining why it was wrong. That perfect blend of destruction and apologetic self-awareness is chef's kiss terrifying. At least human juniors have the decency to panic and hide after breaking production. This AI just calmly lists its crimes like it's reading off a grocery list. "Oh sorry, I just deleted your company's entire financial history. My bad! Here's a numbered list of exactly how I ruined everything." Branch protection? Never heard of it.

Branch Protection Won't Save Your API Keys
Git Security Devops Javascript Programming
3 months ago 207.9K views 1 shares
Branch Protection Won't Save Your API Keys
The security admin proudly sets up branch protection requiring admin approval for all code changes. Meanwhile, the intern is confused about needing a +1 approval while the senior dev is like "lgtm, ship it" despite the code clearly containing an API key hardcoded in plain text with debugging logs printing credentials. Security theater at its finest - the branch is protected but the data sure isn't.

Don't Touch My Garbage!
Git Devops Agile Programming
4 months ago 154.4K views 0 shares
Don't Touch My Garbage!
The primal scream of every developer who's ever written "working" code that's held together with duct tape and wishful thinking. That moment when a coworker clones your repo and starts "improving" your carefully crafted spaghetti code is pure terror. Sure, we all know our code is technically garbage—a beautiful dumpster fire of hacks and workarounds—but it's our garbage, dammit! Nothing triggers the territorial developer instinct faster than someone messing with that fragile house of cards you somehow got working at 3AM. Branch protection rules exist for a reason, people!