This Shit Again

The massive tower labeled "ALL MODERN DIGITAL INFRASTRUCTURE" vs. the tiny rectangle labeled "AI" pretty much sums up the current state of tech hype. Billions in VC funding for what's essentially a fancy pattern matcher running on infrastructure built over decades. Yet somehow AI is going to replace us all by Tuesday. Sure thing, buddy. I'll start worrying when it can configure a printer without having an existential crisis.

GASP! The AUDACITY of developers thinking they can hide behind AI! 💅 When you run git blame to find out which MONSTER broke the code, it reveals the actual HUMAN criminal - not GitHub Copilot! Your AI assistant isn't taking the fall for your disaster of a commit, sweetie! That's right, your name is PERMANENTLY etched in the git history hall of shame! There's no escaping accountability in this dystopian developer hellscape!

Ah yes, the classic corporate love triangle. CEOs staring longingly at the shiny new AI walking by, completely ignoring the loyal developers who've been building their products for half a decade. Nothing says "thanks for your service" like being dumped for the hot new technology that probably can't even center a div properly. Those 5-year veterans are sitting there with their legacy code knowledge while the boss is already planning the AI wedding. Commitment issues much?

Remember that existential dread when ChatGPT dropped? Programmers lined up at the gallows, convinced our jobs were toast. Meanwhile, mathematicians are just sipping coffee like, "Welcome to the club, rookies." They've been watching calculators steal their thunder since the 70s and somehow survived to tell the tale. The career apocalypse is always "just around the corner" until you realize most tools just handle the boring parts while we move on to more interesting problems. History doesn't repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme.

Ah, the ultimate showdown between nature and technology! Both parrots and ML algorithms babble nonsensical phrases they don't understand, but only one comes in a cute feathery package. Billion-dollar AI companies frantically trying to replicate what evolution perfected millions of years ago, and still can't match the "is adorable" checkbox. Maybe we should just train parrots to write our code instead of spending all that GPU money? At least when a parrot crashes, it just loses a few feathers instead of your entire production database.

First tweet: "Look at me! I built a SaaS with AI and zero coding! People actually pay for this!" Two days later: "Help! I'm being hacked! My API keys are maxed out, people are bypassing subscriptions, and my database is a dumpster fire!" The classic "I'm not technical" + "I skipped all security measures" combo strikes again. Turns out that building a product without understanding the fundamentals is like building a house with popsicle sticks—impressive until the first strong wind. Friendly reminder: AI can write your code, but it can't protect you from your own hubris. Security isn't just a vibe killer—it's actually kind of important.