If statements Memes

My Program That Works Perfectly

13 hours ago 92.9K views 0 shares

A building held up by wooden beams labeled "else if" statements. That's your codebase after you decided to handle every edge case with another conditional instead of proper error handling or design patterns. The building hasn't collapsed yet , but we all know it's one more feature request away from catastrophic failure. Just like your sprint deadline.

Just Make It Exist First, Automate The Horror Later

Programming Python Debugging Testing

18 days ago 101.0K views 0 shares

Just Make It Exist First, Automate The Horror Later

The two horsemen of software development: hardcoding endless if-statements for every possible value (top) versus generating those same if-statements with a script that alternates between True and False (bottom). That moment when you realize you can write code to write your terrible code for you. Work smarter not harder! Technical debt can now be automated at scale!

Get Motivated To Write Terrible Code

Python Programming Debugging Testing

21 days ago 205.2K views 0 shares

Top: A horrifying cascade of hardcoded if-statements checking individual values from 457 to 463, alternating between returning True and False. Bottom: The reason for this atrocity - a script that generates these if-statements by asking how many you need, then writing them to a file with alternating boolean returns. And they say automation is supposed to make our lives better. This is the programming equivalent of using a CNC machine to carve "Live, Laugh, Love" signs.

Infallible Code

Programming Algorithms Debugging Testing

1 month ago 174.3K views 0 shares

When your junior dev asks "What's the modulo operator?" and you're too deep into your fifth coffee to explain basic math. Nothing says "I'm a professional" like hardcoding 50 if-statements to check if a number is even when return number % 2 == 0; would do the trick. But hey, at least it's thoroughly tested for numbers 1-22! The face in the corner is all of us reviewing this code during a PR. Silent horror.

AI vs. Reality: The If-Statement Apocalypse

AI Programming Debugging

1 month ago 167.9K views 0 shares

AI vs. Reality: The If-Statement Apocalypse

Top panel: Homer standing confidently with a single <AI> tag on his chest. Bottom panel: Homer covered in a chaotic mess of if statements. The perfect visual representation of how we all pretend our code is elegant AI when really it's just a tangled nightmare of nested conditional statements. That "revolutionary machine learning algorithm"? Just 500 if-statements in a trench coat trying to look sophisticated. The corporate demo vs. the git repository reality.

The World's Most "Optimized" IsEven Function

Algorithms Gamedev Programming Debugging Testing

1 month ago 153.6K views 1 shares

The World's Most "Optimized" IsEven Function

OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually wrote a function to check if a number is even by hard-coding EVERY. SINGLE. CASE. 💀 The sheer AUDACITY of creating an "IsEven" function that could be solved with a simple "return number % 2 == 0" but instead choosing violence and writing 500 if-statements! The poor soul reviewing this code is having an existential crisis right there on stream! This is the kind of "optimization" that gets you both fired AND hired at Blizzard in the same day. Pure chaotic evil genius!

Pirate Software Shows Off His Security Code

Security Networking Programming Debugging

1 month ago 298.1K views 2 shares

Pirate Software Shows Off His Security Code

OH. MY. GOD. Behold the PINNACLE of cybersecurity! 🏴‍☠️ This absolute GENIUS is manually checking EVERY SINGLE IP ADDRESS in the 1.1.1.x range because apparently, writing a regex or using a wildcard would be TOO MAINSTREAM. 💅 It's like watching someone bail out the Titanic with a teaspoon! What happens when hackers discover the revolutionary concept of 1.1.2.1? Will our pirate hero write another 256 if-statements? THE DRAMA! THE SUSPENSE! I can't even with this "security" code! 😭

The Dreaded Edge Case Of Exactly 85%

C++ Programming Debugging Testing

1 month ago 190.2K views 0 shares

When your code has that perfect edge case that makes Schrödinger jealous. Scoring exactly 85% means you've simultaneously failed AND passed according to the logic. The computer's just doing what it was told - executing both conditions because nobody thought to use <= instead of <. This is why we can't have nice things in software development. The compiler doesn't care about your feelings or your GPA.

AI: Expectations Vs. Reality

AI Algorithms Programming Debugging

2 months ago 155.7K views 0 shares

First panel: AI reaching for a beautiful painting on the wall, representing our dreams of intelligent systems creating magnificent art. Second panel: Reality hits with a wall of if(){} statements. That's right folks, behind the curtain of every "AI" product your CEO is hyping up is just a glorified chain of conditional logic some poor dev had to write at 1 AM while questioning their career choices. Seven years of computer science education to write if(user_says_hello) return "Hello there!" but with better variable names.

Copy-Paste Driven Development At Its Finest

Gamedev Programming Debugging

2 months ago 121.1K views 0 shares

Copy-Paste Driven Development At Its Finest

What we're looking at is the programming equivalent of using a sledgehammer to kill a fly. Some "professional" Roblox developer wrote an entire novel of nested if-statements to check and destroy items in a player's backpack. Instead of, you know, using a simple loop or function. It's like watching someone empty an entire swimming pool with a teaspoon when there's a drain right there. The best part? The bright blue syntax highlighting really brings out the desperation in the code. This is what happens when "copy-paste from Stack Overflow" becomes a lifestyle choice.

My Favorite Programming Pattern

Debugging Programming Testing Frontend

2 months ago 84.5K views 0 shares

Oh. My. GOD! The absolute AUDACITY of this code! 💀 Everyone's losing their minds over a horrifying bug, coffee guy is spitting his drink everywhere, people are LITERALLY pulling their hair out... and there sits little Timmy, smugly watching his masterpiece unfold. The diabolical plot twist? That precious little monster wrote code that INTENTIONALLY runs slower when people are watching! It's the digital equivalent of your car making that weird noise until you take it to the mechanic! Honestly, this kid deserves either immediate termination or a promotion to senior architect. There is no in-between.

Me Coding My First Project

Programming Csharp Algorithms Debugging

2 months ago 124.6K views 0 shares

Ah, the classic "checking if a number is even" function written by someone who clearly slept through the modulo operator lesson. Instead of the simple return number % 2 == 0 , this poor soul is writing out every possible case until they presumably die of old age around number 2,147,483,647. This is the programming equivalent of digging a tunnel with a spoon when there's a perfectly good excavator sitting right there. The desperate tweet above the code says it all - there IS an easier way, buddy. There always is.

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