They Are Experts Now

Just what we needed - startups promising to swap our heads like Lego pieces, but can't deliver until "within a decade." Classic tech vaporware with a side of body horror! They'll probably ship the beta with known bugs like "occasional neck disconnection" and "consciousness randomly migrates to the cloud." Meanwhile, their pitch deck shows a 500% growth projection based entirely on VC partners who want spare bodies for when they burn out their current ones. The finest example of "we were so preoccupied with whether we could, we didn't stop to think if we should" since cryptocurrency-powered toasters.

Ah, the mathematical reality check we didn't ask for but desperately needed. This dev just proudly announced that AI multiplied their productivity by 5x, taking them from a "0.1x developer" to a... wait for it... "0.5x developer." Still not even hitting the baseline of 1x! It's that special kind of self-deprecating humor that cuts deep because somewhere in your soul, you're wondering if ChatGPT is just making your mediocre code slightly less mediocre. The dream of becoming a 10x developer remains exactly that—a dream—while we celebrate our journey from "completely useless" to "somewhat functional."

The expectation vs reality of AI coding assistants in a nutshell. Everyone's hyping different AI models, but they're all just regurgitating the same Stack Overflow answers and GitHub repos with slightly different syntax highlighting. Notice how all four implementations have identical logic? That's because no matter which AI overlord you pledge allegiance to, they've all been trained on the same Rust code snippets. It's like four college students copying the same homework but changing the font to avoid detection. The real innovation here is how many different ways they can add comments to the same algorithm while making you feel like you're getting unique, cutting-edge assistance. Revolutionary stuff.

The big AI models (ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude) get all the glory while your scrappy little homegrown model sits alone in the dark. It's that moment when you've spent months fine-tuning your own AI on a single GPU while the tech giants deploy thousands of servers. But hey, at least your model doesn't need an internet connection and won't hallucinate facts about your codebase! There's something beautifully defiant about running your own AI locally—like growing vegetables in your backyard while everyone else shops at Whole Foods. Your electricity bill might disagree though.

Turns out we've been doing rubber duck debugging with ChatGPT all along. The sheer act of articulating your problem clearly enough for an AI to understand it forces your brain to actually think through the logic—and boom, solution appears before you even hit send. It's the digital equivalent of walking to your coworker's desk with a question, then figuring it out halfway through explaining it. The irony is chef's kiss: we built advanced AI only to rediscover the power of just thinking out loud.

When you accidentally push to production instead of staging... 😬 Someone's first day on the job just became their last! Nothing says "I'm fired" quite like leaking government AI plans on GitHub because you confused your repositories. Pro tip: Maybe don't store national secrets with the same tool you use for your personal "learning-to-code" projects. That resume is about to have an interesting gap year.