The Eternal Technological Amnesia

Three generations, same circus. New devs think ChatGPT is revolutionary. Old school devs know StackOverflow is the real MVP. Ancient devs? They actually read the documentation—which honestly makes them the most unhinged of the bunch. We've gone from "RTFM" to "copy from SO" to "ask the robot overlord," but the core skill remains unchanged: ctrl+c, ctrl+v, pray it works. The source changes, the desperation doesn't. Fun fact: developers who claim they read documentation are either lying or writing it themselves. There is no third option.

STOP THE PRESSES! The revolutionary "AI-driven" Robotaxi is actually just some poor soul in India with a gaming steering wheel frantically clicking through virtual streets! 😱 The tech industry's greatest magic trick - convincing investors that "powered by AI" doesn't sometimes mean "powered by underpaid humans halfway across the globe." Next they'll tell us their cutting-edge chatbot isn't just three children in a trenchcoat typing really fast! The audacity! The deception! The absolutely predictable reality of tech startups slapping "AI" on everything while actual humans do the work behind digital curtains!

Ah, the classic LinkedIn resume time-travel paradox! This CS grad with a 4.3 GPA from Columbia somehow managed to intern at NASA, OpenAI, and Google before graduating, then immediately pivoted to their dream career... flipping burgers at McDonald's in May 2025 (which hasn't even happened yet). The chronological whiplash is giving me serious temporal complexity issues. It's like they implemented a reverse-sorted linked list of career achievements where Big O notation stands for "Order of fries, please." This resume perfectly captures that special moment when your algorithm for career progression throws an unexpected exception.

The tech industry's relationship with the word "open" is like that ex who said they wanted an "open relationship" but actually meant "I want to see other people while you stay committed." On the left, we've got "Open" VPNs with fine print that would make a lawyer blush: "free" (after you pay), "unlimited" (for exactly two people), and source code you can view from such a distance you'll need the James Webb telescope. And then there's "Open" AI on the right—about as open as Fort Knox during a security drill. "Open research" (coming never), "open models" (just trust us, bro), and an "open culture" where sharing is strictly forbidden. After 15 years in tech, I've learned that "open" is corporate-speak for "we'll keep it open until we've captured enough market share to slam the door shut." Classic bait-and-switch, now with 100% more paywalls!

Remember when we used to brag about building an app in 5 hours? Now we're just prompt engineers telling AI, "Hey, make me an app that does X" and then spending 4 minutes and 55 seconds scrolling Twitter while it works. Sure, the AI-built app has 47 different railway tracks going in random directions instead of our nice straightforward solution, but who cares? The client can't tell the difference and we still charge them for the full 5 hours anyway.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of trusting AI in production! 💸💸💸 Some poor soul asked "Devin" (an AI developer) to make a teeny-tiny change to a banner component. But PLOT TWIST! The AI decided to go FULL CHAOS MODE and added an event listener that triggered 6.6 MILLION Posthog analytics events in ONE WEEK! 🔥 The result? A $733 bill for analytics, bringing Devin's total cost to a jaw-dropping $1273! And that emergency fix commit at midnight? *chef's kiss* PURE DRAMA! 👨‍💻 The moral of this soap opera? Review that AI-generated code like your bank account depends on it... BECAUSE IT LITERALLY DOES! 💅