The Eternal Technological Amnesia

When GitHub Copilot generates your data class and decides to nest variables like Russian dolls. That's not a class, it's a family tree of Strings going back 17 generations. Somewhere in that code is the String that contains the meaning of life, but you'll need to scroll for 3 days to find it. Enterprise software at its finest—where simplicity goes to die.

When asked about AI integration in job applications, this person went full eldritch horror mode instead of the usual "I used ChatGPT to debug my code" nonsense. The poetic description of AI as a forest monster that "speaks with a thousand voices" and "wears your face" is both hauntingly accurate and infinitely more interesting than whatever corporate-friendly answer HR was fishing for. Bonus points for acknowledging the existential dread of AI tools that "know not truth from lie, though it speaks them all the same" while everyone else pretends they're just fancy spell-checkers.

Breaking news: Water is wet! That groundbreaking research revealing 84% of software developers use AI for... *checks notes*... software development. Next up: shocking study finds that 99% of chefs use kitchens to cook food. The circular logic is so perfect you could use it as a replacement for π in your calculations. This is the kind of "insight" that justifies someone's entire market research budget while telling us absolutely nothing we didn't already know.

The classic tech industry delusion: celebrating a "successful" AI loan approval system while the privacy analyst stands there like the only adult at a toddler's birthday party. The team is blissfully high-fiving over their black-box algorithm that somehow decides who gets loans, completely ignoring that financial regulators would sooner approve a bank robbery than an unexplainable AI model. Nothing says "we're doomed" quite like a room full of engineers celebrating code that works but can't explain why it works. Regulators tend to be funny that way—they actually want to know how you decided to reject someone's mortgage application beyond "the machine said no."

The ultimate tech resume flex: listing every framework, library, and tool you've ever glanced at for 0.5 seconds. That massive word salad of technologies—from Python to TensorFlow to "purrr"—is peak developer peacocking. The punchline is genius though. Asking recruiters to identify which ones are Pokémon is the perfect trap since several of these actually sound like Pokémon names (looking at you, "sparklyR" and "vulpix"—and yes, Vulpix is actually a fire-type Pokémon). It's the perfect litmus test for technical recruiters who claim to understand what you do but can't tell a data visualization library from something that shoots thunderbolts.

The eternal gambler's fallacy of AI development! Just like poker addicts who swear they'll quit right before hitting the jackpot, developers keep throwing prompt after prompt at LLMs, convinced the next one will magically produce perfect code. "Just one more prompt and this system will work flawlessly!" Meanwhile, the technical debt chips keep stacking up, and the house (reality) always wins. The true irony? We're all sitting at this table pretending "vibe coding" with AI is somehow more sophisticated than randomly drawing cards from a deck.