The AI Popularity Contest

Content How she looks at you when she checks out your screen with your bank account and sees you have $20 million. (you edited the HTML text with F12)

Ah, the classic Medium experience. Shows up all excited with pizza (free articles), only to discover the place is literally on fire with paywalled content, AI garbage, and people yelling at each other about tech stacks. Yet we keep coming back like digital masochists. The "Stop using X" articles are particularly chef's-kiss terrible—written by someone who used the technology for exactly 37 minutes before declaring it "fundamentally broken."

You ask for water. Simple request, right? WRONG. The AI assistant has decided to become a five-star sommelier and is now presenting you with the entire hydration menu: watercress salad, waterzoo (yes, that's apparently a thing), watermelon, and water garlic bread because why not throw carbs into the mix? You clarify: "Just ONE water." The AI, now sweating profusely, brings you MULTIPLE glasses of water because it interpreted "one" as a category rather than a quantity. You're practically drowning in H2O at this point. Third attempt: "Just... water. JUST." The AI, having reached peak anxiety, presents you with a literal jug that could hydrate a small village. Close, but the portion control is... questionable. Finally, you lose it and demand the bill. The AI, in its infinite wisdom and complete mental breakdown, serves you swimming goggles, a snorkel, flippers, and a beach ball. Because clearly when you said "bill" it heard "beach vacation essentials." The final panel shows you absolutely LOSING YOUR MIND while being charged $20 for this aquatic nightmare. Welcome to prompt engineering, where even the simplest request becomes a philosophical debate about the nature of water itself. 🌊

Ah, the classic "quantity equals quality" fallacy, now in AI form. Someone's confusing "frantically pushing updates" with "actual progress." It's like measuring a developer's productivity by how many times they hit the keyboard instead of whether the code works. Nothing says "stable, well-tested software" like 25 updates in two weeks. I'm sure none of those were emergency patches for the previous rushed updates. Nope. Pure innovation.

Nothing says "I'm about to create absolute chaos" like importing TensorFlow as plt, Pandas as np, NumPy as tf, and Matplotlib as pd. This unholy alias swap is the data science equivalent of putting the milk in before the cereal. Even Satan himself is impressed by this level of pure evil. It's the kind of code that makes senior devs wake up in cold sweats and frantically check their git blame history.

You: "Why can't I find a job? I have 5 years of React experience and a CS degree!" Meanwhile, some kid in their bedroom is casually implementing ChatGPT in Minecraft redstone circuits – basically creating artificial intelligence using virtual blocks that were originally designed to make doors open automatically. The job market isn't competitive at all... it's just that while you're updating your LinkedIn profile, the competition is casually bending the laws of computer science in a game meant for children. No pressure!