Self Sabotage

The ultimate AI reverse uno card. Someone asks ChatGPT if it can write code without copying from others, and ChatGPT fires back with "No, can you?" Brutal existential burn considering literally none of us write code from scratch anymore. We're all just professional Stack Overflow archaeologists with fancy job titles. The irony is delicious—humans accusing AI of plagiarism while we're all just remixing snippets and libraries that someone else built. At least the AI is honest about it.

The circle of startup AI innovation: Manager asks impossible question → Developer frantically asks ChatGPT → Developer presents ChatGPT's answer as their own work → Manager impressed → Company secures another round of funding. Let's be honest, half the "AI strategy" presentations in boardrooms right now are just regurgitated LLM outputs with fancy transitions. The real innovation is how quickly we've normalized outsourcing our thinking to robots while maintaining our poker faces.

The duality of modern developers: initially impressed by shiny new AI features, followed immediately by the desperate search for the "off" button. GitHub Copilot might finish your code, but it also finishes your patience when it confidently suggests the wrong solution for the fifth time in a row. The real 10x developer move isn't using AI—it's knowing exactly when to turn it off.

When you're the only traditional coder at the family Christmas and your relatives finally understand what you've been trying to tell them for months! The kid is literally every "real programmer" opening their shiny new AI course gift only to discover the harsh truth. Meanwhile, the prompt-writing relatives are cackling because they've been making six figures by typing "make me a website that looks good" into ChatGPT while you're still debugging semicolons at 3 AM. The ultimate coding identity crisis of our generation!

Future managers surrounded by AI robots, desperately hunting down poor Devin who pushed that production bug? Welcome to the dystopian future where git blame has evolved beyond finding the commit author—it now deploys an army of robots to hunt you down. The irony is palpable. We've created AI sophisticated enough to replace workers, yet management still needs to find a human scapegoat. Some traditions never die, even in 2030. Pro tip: Always commit under your coworker's name when pushing questionable code. Future survival depends on it.

Ah, the perfect moment to whisper about AI catastrophes—right when Silicon Valley is knee-deep in their next technological revolution. Nothing says "executive decision-making" like learning about a second DeepSeek model while the first one is still busy calculating how to optimize human obsolescence. It's giving major "Sir, the iceberg has hit the ship" energy, except the iceberg is artificial intelligence and we're all just standing on deck rearranging the code chairs. The timing couldn't be more impeccable if a cosmic algorithm planned it.