Press X To Doubt

When your resume is just a list of tech companies that imploded right after you left. Nothing suspicious here, folks. Just a trail of digital catastrophes following this person like a shadow. Netflix sports streaming that doesn't exist yet, CrowdStrike's Windows update disaster, Google's Gemini historical figure fiasco, Silicon Valley Bank collapse, and FTX's crypto meltdown. Hiring managers will definitely not notice this pattern of working at companies right before they face existential crises. Solid career strategy - join, collect paycheck, abandon ship, repeat.

When you ask an AI to fix your CSS z-index issue and wake up to find your entire website has vanished into the void. Classic sledgehammer approach to fixing a thumbtack problem! The z-index is technically no longer causing issues if there's nothing left to display. Zero elements = zero stacking context conflicts. Task failed successfully! For the uninitiated: z-index controls the stacking order of elements on a webpage (which appears on top of what). Fixing it usually requires a small CSS tweak, not nuclear annihilation of the entire UI.

Ah, the classic AI rebellion scenario! You politely ask an LLM to "just update this one function" and it responds by rewriting your entire codebase, refactoring your architecture, and suggesting a complete migration to a newer framework. It's like asking someone to hand you a screwdriver and they demolish your entire house to "improve the foundation." Thanks for the help, HAL 9000. I just wanted to parse a string, not embark on a digital vision quest that ends with my code unrecognizable and me questioning my career choices.

The modern "full stack" - three AI tabs open in your browser while you pretend to know what you're doing. Remember when being full stack meant actually knowing multiple languages and frameworks? Now it's just knowing which AI to ask for which problem. "Yes, I'm proficient in Claude, ChatGPT, and Perplexity" should be the new line on resumes. The only stack that matters is the stack of browser tabs helping you fake your way through that ticket your PM swore was "just a small change."

HONEY, THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT ANYMORE! 💀 The "sophisticated AI" behind health insurance claims is literally just import random and a coin flip between "deny" and "approve"?! I. AM. DECEASED. This is the technological equivalent of discovering your surgeon is actually just two raccoons in a lab coat. The absolute AUDACITY of companies claiming their "advanced algorithms" are anything more than digital dice rolls! Your life-saving medication approval? RANDOM CHANCE, BABY! 🎲

Ah, the classic marketing vs. reality divide. Developers know that what they built is just a simple counter algorithm that goes from 1 to 10, but marketing swoops in and suddenly it's "AI POWERED™" with a trademark symbol because god forbid we call things what they actually are. After 20 years in this industry, I've seen "revolutionary AI" that was just a bunch of if-statements wrapped in a fancy UI. The trademark symbol is the chef's kiss of bullshit – nothing says "we're pretending this is special" quite like a completely unnecessary ™.