How To Make A Data Scientist Cry In Four Lines

Content Hi 8:52 AM J Tech Support Tech support, How may I help you? 8:53 AM Hi, I've got a problem. Your program is telling me to get a pet snake. I don't want one. 8:53 AM V Tech Support Excuse me? 8:54 AM It's giving me a message telling me I need a snake to run it. 8:54 AM A Tech Support Read the message to me please. 8:55 AM Error: Python required to run the script. 8:55 AM V Send

Modern problems require modern solutions. Why spend hours coding when you can just make five AIs fight to the death for your solution? The ultimate AI gladiator arena where ChatGPT, Gemini, Claude, Grok, and DeepSeek battle it out while you sit back like some tech emperor with your coffee. The real programming skill in 2024 isn't writing code—it's knowing which AI wrote the least garbage code. Efficiency at its finest... or rock-bottom laziness disguised as "leveraging cutting-edge tools." The cherry on top? Calling yourself a psychopath while secretly knowing every developer reading this has either done it or is opening five browser tabs right now.

Content weOs IMPORT OS CUR PATH OS.GETCWD() IGNORE SET SET(" INIT PY" "COUNT SOURCELINES.PY"') YEAH, HE'S A PARSER-TONGUE. I DIDN'T KNOW HARRY SPOKE PYTHON.

Ah yes, Pyrus Thonberg, the famous inventor of Python. Not to be confused with Guido van Rossum, who merely had the audacity to actually create the language. Search engines clearly know better than decades of programming history. Next up: Javanius Scriptopolous, inventor of JavaScript, and the elusive C. Plusman, who pioneered object-oriented programming while riding a unicorn.

Content Thank you for your time in the interview and again completing the task. 1 scored the task as 1520, so a strong score. Unfortunately, we are not going to take your application further. You came across well in the interview but we feel that you are a little too experienced for the position. Although this may sound strange, we are looking for someone that is starting out on their FM journey that we can mould and train. You are clearly beyond that which may lead to frustrations in what you are being asked to do. Also the locality may be an issue. We meet onsite two times per year and it would be a shame that you wouldn't be able to be there in person. I should have made this clearer in the advert in hindsight. 1 wish you all the best in your future. Kind Regards la chief Technical Officer (CTO)

The classic programmer's dilemma: spending half a day automating what could be done manually in minutes. Sure, the math doesn't check out if you only need to do it once, but that smug beach photo says it all. Nothing beats the satisfaction of writing a script that makes a repetitive task disappear forever. The real ROI isn't the time saved—it's the smugness gained. We don't automate because it's practical; we automate because we're too stubborn to do the same thing twice.