Original Like My Code

Remember when Micron was just trying to sell RAM to nerds who actually knew what it was? Now Sam Altman's out here launching ChatGPT to your grandma who thinks it's a fancy search engine. The dominoes show the beautiful trajectory from "enterprise B2B semiconductor sales" to "literally everyone and their dog can talk to an AI." It's like watching your niche indie band blow up on TikTok—you're happy for the success, but also slightly annoyed that normies are now in your space. OpenAI went from "research lab for AI safety" to "the thing your boss wants you to integrate into every product by EOD."

Ah, the classic tech industry loyalty paradox. When OpenAI had that whole leadership meltdown, some employees heroically stayed aboard the sinking ship while others frantically updated their LinkedIn profiles. The joke here is that some folks weren't exactly "choosing" to stay loyal—they just had zero other employment options. It's like telling everyone you're "taking a sabbatical" when your inbox has tumbleweeds rolling through it. Nothing says "company loyalty" quite like the absence of alternatives.

Mathematicians are basically handing weapons of mass destruction to the AI community. Linear algebra—the mathematical foundation that powers neural networks, transformations, and basically everything in machine learning—is like giving a chimp an AK-47. Pure math folks spent centuries developing these elegant theories, and now they're watching in horror as data scientists use them to build recommendation algorithms that convince people to buy stuff they don't need and generate fake images of cats playing banjos. The revolution will not be televised—it'll be computed with matrices.

AI has finally solved the greatest mystery in corporate history: what actually happens in meetings. Turns out it's just "disjointed, rambling conversation" with "no clear purpose or agenda." Revolutionary discovery! Next up: AI discovers water is wet. The best part? We spent an hour discussing "unclear technical concepts" only to have a robot tell us we accomplished absolutely nothing. At least now we have timestamps to prove exactly how long we wasted our lives. Remember when we used to pretend meetings were productive? Now Slack AI is calling us out with receipts. Progress!

The time traveler has been spotted! ChatGPT launched in 2022, but apparently Courage was the beta tester back in '96. That old computer wasn't running Python or JavaScript—it was running pure anxiety. The irony of a "cowardly" dog secretly being the first AI prompt engineer is just *chef's kiss*. Developers today think they're revolutionary for asking an AI to write their regex, meanwhile Courage was probably using it to generate excuses for Eustace about why the farm's network was down again.

Ah yes, the coveted "No AI" badge—proudly displayed by developers who spent 17 hours debugging their own spaghetti code instead of asking ChatGPT to fix it in 3 seconds. It's like bragging about churning your own butter when there's a perfectly good supermarket next door. "Look at me, I suffered unnecessarily and have the dark circles under my eyes to prove it!" Meanwhile, the deadline was yesterday and the client is wondering why a simple feature costs more than their car payment.