On My Way To Burn Billions For AGI

Look at this peak coding efficiency! Why bother with basic arithmetic when you can just outsource addition to ChatGPT? Sure, a simple a + b would work, but where's the fun in that? This is what happens when you've got a $20/month ChatGPT subscription and absolutely need to justify it by using it for literally everything—including adding 5 and 3. The irony of burning through tokens and API calls to calculate what a 5-year-old could do on their fingers is just *chef's kiss*. Next up: using DALL-E to generate images of numbers because Math.random() is too mainstream.

Future playground insults just got upgraded from "Your mom" jokes to "Your mom codes in VibeCoder" — implying she uses some fictional 2045 programming language that's so outdated or cringe it's basically the equivalent of coding COBOL on punch cards while wearing socks with sandals. The real burn is that by 2045, we'll probably all be begging AI to fix our legacy React code while it silently judges our primitive syntax.

The progression from recreational substances to AI news is the ultimate burnout pipeline. While alcohol makes you squinty, weed makes you red-eyed, and cocaine makes you wide-awake paranoid, nothing compares to the soul-crushing exhaustion of trying to track every new AI model release, capability, and controversy. Your eyeballs practically melt into your skull as you desperately refresh Hacker News every 4 minutes to see if your programming skills are obsolete yet. It's like being in an abusive relationship with Moore's Law where the breakup text is written in DALL-E generated hieroglyphics.

Remember when we thought we'd train AI to help us write code? Top panel: cute little AI cub learning from the wise software engineer master. Bottom panel: six months later, that same AI has evolved into a towering beast while we're still sitting there with our legacy code knowledge from 2019. The career progression timeline has been dramatically compressed. Took me 15 years to become a tech lead. Took AI about 15 minutes to make half my StackOverflow contributions irrelevant. But hey, at least I still know how to exit Vim. For now.

You try so hard to dodge the AI hype train. You stick to your principles. You refuse to add "AI-powered" to every feature. You won't shoehorn ChatGPT into your perfectly functional app. You're building real software, not buzzword bingo. Then Firefox—yes, FIREFOX, the browser that's supposed to be the scrappy underdog fighting for an open web—comes flying in with a haymaker of AI features you never asked for. Sidebar chatbots, AI-generated alt text, the whole nine yards. Even the good guys have fallen. There's no escape. Every company from your local pizza shop to your IDE is cramming AI into places it doesn't belong. The future isn't AI. The future is being beaten into submission by AI whether you like it or not.

The tech industry's collective amnesia is truly spectacular. First, we survived the video game crash of '83, then the dot-com implosion, followed by crypto's rollercoaster of disappointment. Now we're watching the AI hype train barrel toward the same cliff while techbros insist "but this time it's different because GPT-5 and 6!" It's like watching someone confidently build a sandcastle below the tide line for the fourth time. History doesn't repeat itself, but it sure does rhyme... with a neural network-generated beat drop.