On My Way To Burn Billions For AGI

ChatGPT might have a gun, but Linux users show up with a rocket launcher. That's the difference between asking AI for help and spending 15 years compiling kernels from source. Sure, AI can write your fizzbuzz solution, but nothing strikes fear into the heart of technology quite like someone who configures iptables for fun on weekends. The rest of us are just standing in the background wondering if we should learn Rust or just retire early.

Remember when we worried AI would take our jobs? Now we're watching LLMs trying to code by regurgitating increasingly stale StackOverflow answers from 2015. It's like watching your replacement get dumber in real time. The top panel shows happy, innocent SpongeBob - that's our AI models in 2022-23, cheerfully scraping StackOverflow for all that juicy developer knowledge. The bottom panel is the grim reality waiting in 2024-25: depressed SpongeBob sitting in a dimly lit room with a thousand-yard stare, because there's no fresh data to learn from. Just the same old "marked as duplicate" answers from a decade ago. Turns out training on yesterday's solutions doesn't prepare you for tomorrow's problems. Who knew?

The AUDACITY of these AI models! 💅 Ask them anything slightly outside their training data and suddenly they transform into the most CONFIDENT FICTION AUTHORS on the planet! "Random bullshit go!!!" is literally their entire business strategy when cornered. It's the digital equivalent of that one friend who'd rather DIE than admit they don't know something. "What's the capital of Narnia? Oh it's OBVIOUSLY Aslanville, population 42 million, famous for its underwater skyscrapers." And they say it with their WHOLE CHEST too! 🙄

Claude 4 just wrote the most elegant, useless code in history. 3,000+ lines of pristine architecture that does absolutely nothing except look pretty in the IDE. Like watching someone build a cathedral and then realizing they forgot to include doors. The digital equivalent of a perfectly organized sock drawer in a house that's on fire.

Remember when programmers were basically coding demigods who could bend computers to their will? Now we're just sad creatures Googling "how to center div" for the 500th time and begging AI to fix our mistakes. The golden age programmer wrote code without StackOverflow, crafted entire games in Assembly (you know, that language that makes you want to cry), manually fixed memory leaks with pointers, and literally hand-coded the software that put humans on the freaking moon. Meanwhile, modern programmers are trapped in Vim wondering why :q doesn't work, fixing one bug only to create three more like some kind of hydra nightmare, and asking ChatGPT to solve problems we should probably understand ourselves. The decline is real, folks. But hey, at least we have dark mode now.

So they want a "Vibe Coder" who "orchestrates code through the power of AI" and "vibes their way to a brilliant front end product." Translation: We want someone to type prompts into ChatGPT while we pretend we're revolutionizing development. This job description screams "we have no idea what we're doing but we've invested too much in AI to admit it." Soon they'll replace "Senior Developer" with "Prompt Engineering Guru" and wonder why their codebase looks like it was written by a caffeinated squirrel with a keyboard. The funniest part? 42 people actually applied. Desperation truly knows no bounds in this economy.